Page 13 of Not My Fantasy

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God, we had to do something about this. I couldn’t keep telling people my Nan had died, I just couldn’t. “She’s not here,” I said with a snap. “I’m Ash, what can I get you?”

“I’m Natty. Ah . . . gold, I have the sky whale ambergris and harpy feathers she ordered. Been sitting on them for weeks, I have. Would’ve sold them, too, if I knew she wasn’t going to be around for so long. Well, you want 'em or not?”

“What the hell is–?” I started.

“We want them,” Jez said. I looked over my shoulder at her, frowning, but she pointed to the ledger, we had found in our searches, of all the sales Nan had made through the portal. “Ambergris and harpy feathers are regular sellers. Says right here.”

“Oh-kay, well, how do we tell if they

are genuine?” I asked, trying to pretend like I was some kind of hardened trans-dimensional magical supplies seller.

“Are you serious? I don’t need this shit. I’m going down to Gump’s like I should’ve–”

“Do you mind if I inspect the goods, young man?” Merlin said.

“What? Who are you?” the boy asked, flicking Merlin a glance. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Thousand pardons, your eminence. I didn’t expect to see such august company like yourself in a place such as this.”

“Oi!” I snapped, but Tess hissed at me to shut up.

“Hmm . . .,” Merlin said, turning the pieces in his hand for a moment, then took a sniff from the feathers. “Definitely harpy,” he said, his nose wrinkling in disgust, “no other carrion bird could affect such a stench. Here, note the underlying scent of smoke and brimstone mixed with human excrement.” He placed a feather under my nose and I sniffed tentatively before recoiling quickly, coughing and fighting to keep my breakfast down. “Condor or buzzard feathers just smell like dust and blood. Can’t be faked. Now the ambergris.” He held the inauspicious-looking lump of what looked like dirty grey clay and breathed in deeply. “Ah . . . that subtle, complex musk, coupled with the ozone top scent and chaparral mid notes. Yes, this man’s goods are quite genuine.”

“How much?” I asked.

The ears lay flat against his skull, “She promised me twenty gold pieces.” We had five gold nuggets from yesterday’s sale sitting on the shelf, but that was well short of twenty. Should we even be buying more stock now, when we had no idea if the inter-dimensional shop front would actually work? I went to have a look in the safe. I was pretty sure I knew what I'd find there, but I checked, just in case.

"So, what is your world called?" Tess asked, shifting over to the doorframe.

Natty gave her the side eye. "I live in Damorica, this place is called Bartertown."

"Bartertown? I guess that's a name that serves two purposes, tells you where you are and what to expect. Is Bartertown a frontier town or something, where people come from everywhere to sell their goods?”

"Nah, it’s just a town. Busy, smelly, too full of people for its own good, like all the others. Look, you want this stuff or not?"

"Um, I've got plenty of money, but not enough gold."

Natty exhaled noisily, scratching at his head for a moment before snapping upright and away from the door frame. ”Right, I’m off to Gump’s. I'm sorry for your loss and all, but I've got a living to make."

“A moment, good sir,” Merlin said. His tone was mild, but we all stopped still at the sound of it. He shifted a pile of books and drew back an old carpet on the floor, waving me over to show me a floorboard with a finger hold cut out of it. I crouched over it, back to the door to block Natty's view as much as anything. I pulled the board up to find several battered cash boxes there. "This may help," the wizard said and the locked lid of the one I'd grabbed snapped open. Sure enough, little gold nuggets filled the container. I counted twenty-one out quickly and returned the rest to its hiding place.

"One extra for your troubles," I said, depositing the gold in his calloused paw. He nodded slightly and had the gold squirrelled away, quick as a flash. The ambergris and disgusting feathers were dumped into Tess's hands without ceremony.

"Pleasure," Natty said, sounding anything but, before he turned on his heel and walked away.

"So, Merlin, you are all knowing and all that," Tess said. "If I went through the portal, what would be the problem?"

"Well–"

At that moment, the doorbells jingled and I heard Gabe calling, "Hey, Ash, where you at?" I shoved my sister away from the portal and slammed the door shut, just in time for the biker to appear at the doorway of the storeroom. "You having a staff meeting or something?"

“Ah, no, just trying to work out where to put the rest of the books."

“Who’s this? King Arthur’s aide?” he said, nodding at Merlin. I turned, ready to explain why another guy was dressed in Ren Faire gear, to see Merlin standing there in a polo shirt and some khaki pants.

He came over, moved to shake Gabe’s hand and said, “Gabe, was it? Nice to meet you, Mervin Taliesin.”

“Right, well, you weren’t joking about there being a lot of books. I was going to suggest the guys bring the rest in here, but . . ."

“I know, I know,” I walked with him out into the shop, away from my wanderlusting sister and the court magician of King Arthur. “We’re going to have to put them against the wall here." I frowned as I pointed to the right-hand wall where Nan had set up a nice reading nook, complete with natural light from the window and comfy chairs and tables.


Tags: Sam Hall Book Lover Fantasy