“Today,” Rhoda said, looking me over more closely. “Within the hour. Get her some clothes and then get her down to the viewing rooms. She’s very close to the edge. You’ve never had the opportunity to really let loose in a heat before?”
All I could do was shake my head, her tone fracturing my composure. Heats were always lonely, desperate, shameful things, but to hear women describe the process and have all these things in place to help me through it? They didn’t and couldn’t understand what that meant, but as I just stared, I saw them trying to. Then Rhoda reached out, taking my hand in hers, the bones feeling fine and birdlike, her skin soft and crepey, but the strength as she squeezed it was undeniable.
“Enjoy, young one,” she said with a wry smile. “You are safe now. You will have a place in Sanctuary for as long as you need it, a place to be who you really are.”
I sat back in my chair, my hand pulling from hers, not because I wanted to break contact, but because it felt like everything was hitting me like a Mack truck. Where were all my defences right now? I took one long shuddering breath, then another.
“Then we’ll take you to the honeymoon suite now,” Ophelia said with a smile and a nod. “We had one prepared, just in case.”
“Bec,” Shaun said, a frown forming, “you don’t have to do this. I can control myself, I promise. I—”
“Shaun.”
Ophelia said his name in a low but definite tone, and he instantly fell silent. Then I was treated to a sight I had no wish to see again. I saw hurt and pain and need flare hard, his eyes taking on a reddish tinge before he closed them and then seemed to focus on his breathing. When he opened them again, they were reassuringly blue.
And focussed on me. “I’m sorry I dragged you here when you had things under control, but in some ways, I’m not. You can be safe here. We, whichever men you choose, will be honoured to help you through your heat. Especially if it’s your first one where…”
Shaun frowned a little, as if considering how I’d had to spend it before. He didn’t know the half of it. The shit he and I had pulled before in front of the glass door, that’d have had me tarred, feathered, and driven out of town back in the places I used to live. Small towns get tongues wagging pretty damn quick. That and the small minds that tended to come with them meant everything was always so damn prescribed. My fingers dug into the table, my breath coming in shorter and shorter pants as I considered exactly what she described—a cabin all of my own, away from every prying eye, a place I could do whatever the hell I wanted. I frowned, then swiped the back of my hand across my top lip, the sweat there started to bead.
Because when I looked up, around the brightly lit, open plan living area to the grass beyond, I saw something else, something nothing or no one had ever prepared me for—freedom. My brows tightened as a dizzying array of scenarios hit me, making my heat flare hotter and hotter until I felt like I was burning.
Which maybe helped this. They wanted to give me my freedom? Well, I was totally on board with that idea. The soft cotton of Shaun’s T-shirt rubbed against my nipples, taunting me with what was surely to come.
Me.
I stared down the table now, a reddish haze over everything I saw.
“Set this…viewing up. I’m…” Deep breaths, you can hold it together for a few more minutes. “I need to identify some willing players, stat.”
The women nodded, but Shaun, he flinched, this very small, imperceptible recoil that only my highly sensitised state detected, which made me wonder how often that went unseen.
“And Shaun, he’s my first choice.”
He blinked, just staring at me for a moment, then reached across the table, taking my hand in his, while the ladies twittered.
“Are you sure? Your inhibitions and his will be down,” Ophelia said.
“You’ll have more men than you can poke a stick at lining up to get to you,” Rhoda added, but I just squeezed his fingers.
“I know, and I want him.”
Fuck, that felt good, to just baldly say what I thought and felt and see an answering flare of heat in his face.
“Ophelia—” Rhoda protested, but the other woman held up a hand in response, focussing on me.
“Sometimes, women have a man by their side during a viewing, one they trust. It can help them feel more secure as they go through the choosing process. Do you want Shaun to take that role?”
I stared over at him, trying to see him standing by my side as I interviewed potential bed partners, but crazily enough, I could. Hadn’t he done just that, revealing me to the crowd of men, ensuring my world was well and truly rocked? My thighs rubbed together as I remembered exactly how that went. His nostrils flared, the muscles in his forearms popping as he held himself in place.
“You can keep your fangs to yourself, right?” I asked him.
“For you? Anything. If I take a mate, I want their fangs in my neck, them choosing me. I want to know without a doubt that I’m their man, wholly and solely. I won’t bite you, Bec, not unless you beg me to.”
Well, then.
“I believe that resolves that matter,” Ophelia said, getting to her feet, Rhoda doing the same much more reluctantly. The other woman’s eyes flicked between us, but she followed her out of Shaun’s place. “I’ll have one of the married women bring some clothing for Bec. Walking into a viewing smelling of you, Shaun, may inflame things. The speed with which this is moving is fortuitous, but still.” She looked back at me. “A cart will be brought around for you in an hour, and then you’ll attend the viewing. You can just look at the men through glass windows if you like.”
Oh, I liked.