His fingers went limp with shock, and he froze where he was, leaving me to jump onto the ground unaided. He just stared until he finally seemed to realise what he was doing.
“She did?”
“I stopped her. You might not like that, but I had to. Noah, I don’t know anything about you except for your seemingly endless knowledge of human sexuality.”
“Right, yeah.” His head dropped down as we walked farther down the path, along the river now, the trees forming a thick canopy above us. “That’s kinda the scary part.”
“Why?” I peered under the curtain of hair. “Do you harass little old ladies for fun or something?”
“No, nothing like that. I guess everyone says I’m a dreamer. I’m at work or I’m reading. Books, the internet, forums.”
“Porn?”
He flushed red at that.
“Like what do I have to offer you, Flick?” he soldiered on. “You’ve got a phalanx of muscle dudes all panting after you. Why me, I guess is what I’m asking.”
“And I’d say, why not you? But we both know how this started. I touched you, and it was intense. I had no fucking idea what I was doing at the petitioning ceremony, and then my heat hit. It feels like the wolf inside me makes most of the choices, and I just process them as fast as I can. And she chose you for some reason, and I don’t think it’s because of any of the reasons you told me before. It’s something else. What would you do if there
was only you as a contender? If you were coming into my life as it is now, how would you play it?”
You could tell when Noah was really engaged in something by the way his eyes changed. The doubt dropped away, and then there was something keen and sharp looking out from behind them.
“I’d focus on Kade first. I’ve told myself that if you decided to let me stick around that I can abstain from sex.” I snorted at that, which drew a rueful smile from him. “Yeah, I might be a bit optimistic at that, but I would concentrate on him, just coming around a bit at the start, letting him get used to me. Like bringing you both dinner or something. Aidan said he loves Star Wars and I love Star Wars, so I figure we could watch some movies. He says Kade likes to talk about the plot threads and characters. I’d want Aidan there, so he still feels safe, but yeah, I’d probably try and engage him that way, see if he felt comfortable with me, would be OK with me sticking around. I know that nothing’s gonna happen without that, so I’d want to build things from there. If he doesn’t feel safe…” Noah shivered a little, his eyes seeing something I couldn’t. “Then I’d leave it, us. Maybe we’d…get together every now and then, but yeah…” He shook his head. “I should’ve said something more romantic. My family always tells me I’m way too clinical.”
“You’ve thought about this a lot,” I said, unable to keep the wonder from my voice. He was right, it was probably a little clinical to plot out his introduction to my son before we’d even expressed an interest in going further with things, but the detail with which he’d planned things was kinda stunning.
“Yeah,” he said, raking his hair back. “I kinda do that all the time. People are always telling me to stop, but I can’t. I need to think about all the possible outcomes and the consequences for them and—Fuck! I am ballsing this up so badly.” I tried to hold onto his fingers as he strode over to a nearby tree, ripped up a handful of wildflowers, roots and all, then came back and thrust them into my hand. “I like you, Flick, a lot. I know from what Jules and some of the other outsider women have said that it takes a longer time for you to decide on someone than is normal here, and I’m happy to wait. I just…”
He closed my fingers around the stems and stepped back. “You’re sweet and kind, you seem to accept people for who they are, instead of matching them against some arbitrary mental model and discarding them because they don’t fit. You saw me…in a really weird position. I’m not usually that…out with what I’m into, but when you touched my hand as I explained things, I…” He shook his head. “Everyone told me to be careful, to put up some boundaries and protect myself, but I can’t. That… When we were together, that’s the first time I’ve ever had sex with anyone else, and while it was so fucking hot, it meant more than that for me. I could smell you all around me and you held me close and stroked my hair and your cunt milked the cum from my balls and I felt…home.” I wanted to go to him. From his expression, his heart was breaking. “The Great Wolf steps in sometimes to bring people together, and I guess I hope with all my fucking heart that’s what this feeling is.”
God, I could not keep up with this man. His mind teemed with so much he held back, and then it all came rushing out, leaving me wondering what the hell had just happened. I had no words, but I needed to process a whole other side of him, so I moved closer and just held him.
His hands were slower to mimic mine, but they came to rest on my back, holding me to him, and for a while, that’s all we did—just held each other.
Until he stiffened.
If the last outburst surprised me, the next one floored me.
“Get behind me, Flick,” came his low growl.
37
My eyes shot up to see a transformed Noah hunched over me. His lips were pulled back from his teeth, becoming bigger, sharper somehow.
“Now, Flick!” he hissed, picking me up and shoving me when I didn’t move fast enough. His body transformed from long and lean to somehow bestial as he stood before me.
“You’ve gotta get back to the watering hole. Get to the boys and don’t look back.”
And that was the last thing he said before transforming into a perfectly white giant wolf.
I hadn’t had time to really process the Tirian form when they’d first shown it to me, having just woken up from a mini coma, but I got to now. Because not one but two stood before me. Down the path was a semi familiar sight—a black wolf sitting there panting, its red eyes glowing like hell fire.
Is that you? I asked my beast.
No, and you need to do what your mate says and run, came her terse reply. There is nothing good for you here, only pain and death.
What?! You’ve got to be shitting me. That’s just a dog.