“Later, mate,” Sen said. “She knows what she needs, after she’s drunk the rest of that water.”
I drank it and another bottle, all under his approving eye, but it wasn’t Sen I thought about when I went back to my room with my mates in tow.
“Is it OK if we just sleep?” I asked as I lay on the bed.
“Of course, love,” Aidan said, pulling me against him. “Fuck, it feels like a million years since we’ve done this.”
“Cuddle?”
“Just…this. Quiet, cuddles, bed, us. And sleep. I dunno about you, but I am trashed.”
“The heat will break soon. Full moon’s coming,” Peter said, watching me with that steady gaze of his. Like he saw all of me and was happy as a result.
“But what about the guys, Flick? What happened before? Did Sen… Did he hurt you?”
“Only when I wanted him to.” I let out a long yawn. “Can we talk about it when I wake up?”
“Of course, love.”
I’m not sure how much Aidan slept. My dreams were kind of unsettled. Not outright nightmares, just lots of shadowy shapes pursuing me, tracking me. When my eyes finally opened, there he was, watching me as I yawned, as I flopped back on the bed and looked up at him. I glanced back to see Peter was still asleep, his hand on my hip.
“You’re worried,” I whispered.
He resisted that word, but I saw it in the tense line of his body, the muscles in his jaw.
“You liked things as they were.”
His eyes dropped down to the bed at that, fingers tracing the folds in the fabric.
“You don’t want me adding anyone to the pack.”
“That’s not my choice,” he said finally.
“Aidan, I’m not asking you to tell me what to do, but I am asking for your opinion.”
“It’s not… That’s not it.” He shook his head. “Pete and me have been mates for a bit. We know each other, can work well together. I guess I was invested in this thing. Ophelia took us off work while we helped out here, and I kinda threw myself into that. I… When the bruises faded and I started to see you smile, when Kade’s nightmares stopped and he felt OK to sleep in his own bed, I guess I felt like I was part of that, that we did that.”
I put a hand on his cheek, scratching my fingers through his beard.
“You were and are. I’ll never forget that, what you did for us. I see you, Aidan. I know you making us breakfast, doing the washing, sitting and watching cartoons with Kade, and rubbing my feet is you telling us over and over how much you love us. And we love you, Aidan. We’re not going anywhere, but we are changing.”
He placed a kiss on my palm, holding my hand
there as his eyes closed.
“In a lot of ways, you’re just starting to get to know us. God, I’m only just starting to get to know me. I married Rick straight after university and spent much of my adulthood under his thumb, then I came here. That’s what’s been so amazing about this place. I’ve had a chance to explore things I would never have thought to try. Do as Ophelia instructed and just play. Today, Sen tied me up and made me come and fucked me hard. The marks are from the rope I wanted him to use. It was incredible, but no more than what we have, no more than right now.”
He watched me intently, a slight frown on his face.
“But he’s pushing you around, Flick. Telling you what to do. Isn’t he just another controlling dude who’s gonna…”
“That’s what we’re going to find out. Sen seems to have some alpha tendencies, whatever that means, that manifest in him caring for people in a kind of pushy way. He’s a lot like you, just more insistent.”
“And that’s what you want?”
“I don’t know. Right now, it’s hot, sweet, and reminds me of something else. You and especially Peter, I feel like I could do anything and you’d catch me if I fell. In some ways, that makes me brave enough to experiment with Noah’s many, many kinks and to let Sen play games. But ideally, if it turns out we’d make a good pack, it’d be all four of you working with me to raise Kade, keeping this household ticking along, and then when night came, we’d file in here and we’d work together. Noah would be endlessly inventive and keep us from falling into a rut and find out a whole lot more about what turns us on. You would be looking after my best interests and make sure shit didn’t get too crazy. Peter would be my safe harbour, my safe place, somewhere to curl up and recollect myself when things get intense. And Sen would push us, test our boundaries, see if he could get some of what we hold back to surface. Like could he get that secret selfish side of you to come out to play every now and then, the one who isn’t constantly worrying about me. That Aidan who deep down, just wants to dispense with the foreplay and shove me down on the bed, peel my jeans down over my arse, and fuck me.”
His eyes burned into mine, not blinking for even a split second.