“But then my heart fucking broke, because no matter how things went, if you decided to keep the bond in place, some day, some how, you’d end up wanting me to hurt you trying…trying to make love to you. That moment, when you took me inside you.” His eyes darted off to the side. “It’s just sex. I spoke to Ophelia about work arounds when you felt up to it. We could have had a perfectly satisfactory sex life without it, but…” His breath came out in a long shudder. “There’s something that comes from being in the person that you love. Like you can’t be physically any closer than that. You give them pleasure with your body in the most intimate of ways. When I could do that…”
His face crumpled down and then hid within my palm as he turned into it, a tear springing free.
“Peter…” I put my arms around his neck and buried my face into that broad chest, his going around me. “I love you so fucking much, and you felt so amazing. I can still feel it inside me.”
“What?”
I was smiling when he stiffened, so I grabbed his hand and pressed it against my pelvis.
“When women have really intense sex, it leaves an… ‘Ache’ is too strong a word for it. It’s like a constant reminder of where you were, of how good that felt, of how good it’ll feel when you do it again.”
“Again?” His eyebrow cocked up, and he gave me that rare as hen’s teeth cocky smile of his.
“Definitely again. You can’t let me feel that and then take it away. Like with you, there’s no way to miss my g-spot, ever.” I moved in slowly, so he could pull away if he wanted, but he reached for my lips, just tasting each other for a moment. “It was rubbing so hard each time you moved, and my orgasm was so intense.”
He pulled me to him, and I went limp in his arms, just letting myself be held by those massive muscles.
Love is kind of a scary thing. To dismantle those carefully constructed defences, made for bloody good reasons, and allow someone in and give them all the keys to your triggers and vulnerabilities. But sometimes it’s an exchange—of power, sex, time, energy, attention, support, and care, as well as those fears. Then when that other person takes all you are and holds it inside them, and you do the same, that’s where the magic happens.
I looked at Sen with new eyes, when I finally turned around after however long we’d taken, and saw a similar look of awe in Aidan’s eyes. The man himself didn’t seem fazed, his eyes running over the lot of us with a satisfied air before coming to rest on Noah.
“So obviously there’s been a bit of a shift in the dynamic when I was out. Snowy he
re is buzzing like a bee in clover. Anyone want to clue me in?”
Noah’s pale blue eyes came to rest on me, studying my face, no doubt for indications of what I was about to say. I leaned forward and retrieved the remote from the coffee table, his tongue flicking out and swiping across his bottom lip as he watched me show it to Sen.
“When you left, I heard Noah…playing. I went down the hall.” My eyes dropped to the remote, my thumb drawn to the dial. “I watched Noah get himself off, and we talked.”
“About?”
I could see the other guys were interested in that as well, as I felt their eyes on me.
“What I like,” Noah said, his eyes starting to dart, but when they connected with mine, there was something startling about the intensity there. “What I’d like to do if there’s an opportunity. I gave Flick the remote in the hope she’d play with me in a way that still felt safe. That way, she doesn’t have to touch me if she doesn’t want to, but we can still…”
“Do you want to?”
Sen’s words were delivered conversationally, but there was a challenge there, despite his tone.
I looked at Noah, still sitting there, his shorts pushed down away from his still throbbing cock. Damn, the boy had some stamina.
And what would that feel like, being unleashed upon you?
“Stand up, Snow. Let the lady take a look at you. And ditch the shorts. You’re three quarters of the way there right now. May as well commit.”
I marvelled when Noah did exactly as he was told, standing up and towering over me. He was bloody tall, taller than any of the guys, I thought. His eyes scanned us as his thumbs tucked into his shorts, then he pulled them down and kicked the fabric away. He stood there, hands on his hips, all the many lean muscles on clear display as his body tensed. Peter placed a gentle kiss on my neck as I inspected him, sending a shiver through my body.
There was an elegance about Noah that the others didn’t have. He looked like some kind of elfin prince, possessing the strength of a rapier rather than an axe. My fingers twitched as I leaned forward, scanning all that perfect milky flesh.
“How do you feel when she looks at you like that?” Sen asked, amused when he caught our startled looks. I’d been under some kind of spell wrought by Noah’s body without even realising it.
“It’s hot. I like being looked at, watched. I always want attention, too much. It stops me from feeling invisible.”
“Noah…” I said.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” he said, frowning momentarily. “That I hate. Look at me like you did beforehand, like I was beautiful to you.”
“You are,” I replied. “All of you. I haven’t seen an average looking guy in this whole town.”