But what if there could be more? Was this in the minds of all women? Wanting the secure relationship and the demon lover all at the same time? And was that what Sen was? I watched him closely, like one would a specimen under a microscope, initially focussed on the intensity of his stare as he asked for every little dirty secret of mine and the opportunity to create more. But there was more there. Part of him didn’t want this. I could feel the tension in him, thrumming.
“You don’t always want to,” I said with a cock of my head, removing my chin from his hand. “Part of you doesn’t want to control things at all.” His eyes narrowed, and I took the resulting flare of fear and need as my due. “Part of you wants to do exactly as I said, throw me down on the bed and just rut inside me with little to no care of my needs or pleasure, but secretly hoping I’ll love it.” His teeth bared slowly, his eyes bleeding to green as I saw his beast push forward. “You want to be the big bad wolf.”
His hand slammed down on my wrist, gripping me tight, to Aidan’s consternation.
“Tell me what you saw. I felt a flare of the most intense sensation, like you were lowering your wet little cunt onto my cock right there in the mess hall when you thought it. Took every-fucking-thing I had not to come right there and then. Tell me.”
My heart was galloping. Of course, it was. There were elements of what I’d gone through with Rick here—the tight grip, the sharp demands. But it wasn’t.
We like to play with dominance, my Tirian purred. Make it feel like there’s something to fear when there isn’t.
Isn’t there?
She laughed at that, something incongruous from a wolf.
Let him play his little games. Monkey brains delight in such things, and I’ll keep an eye on him, see if he is a worthy mate.
“You,” I said by way of a belated reply to Sen. “I saw the guys holding me down on the bed, forcing me to lie there while you…” He nodded, a faint smile forming, encouraging me to continue. “While you ran those hands that feel so fucking good all over me and your head dropped between my legs.”
“Yeah? I can make that work. Now?”
“We better, before I pull away and all my social conditioning slams down on me, sending me scuttling out that door to hide in the bathroom.”
“Don’t scuttle. No scuttling.” I could hear it now, an echo of Ophelia’s alpha whip in his voice, his will pushing down on me. I could push back if I wanted, shove his suggestion off with a snort. But I didn’t want to. I could see how this might work. He’d use that push to ‘make’ me do exactly what I wanted, giving me the excuse I needed.
“You get it,” he said, his tone much more gentle now, his smile softer. I nodded.
“And right now, I need you to kiss me like you would have if we’d gone on that date, before you let your freak flag fly.”
“Freak?” One eyebrow cocked up at that, but he cupped my jaw and lowered his lips to mine, just brushing them at first, testing and tasting, then surging forward when I opened my mouth for him.
I got lost in him, that foreign taste of sour beer and Sen, the feel of his mobile tongue, his hands tugging me against him, until I had to pull away to catch my breath.
“Get out of those clothes,” he said, “and I’m gonna get out of mine. I want you spread out naked on the bed by the time I’m done.”
Aidan was waiting when I turned around, a look of concern on his face. That made sense. He’d seen exactly what had happened to Kade and I at the hands of a controlling man. His mouth opened, ready to…what? Warn me? Check in?
“I love you,” I said, moving in close, linking my hands with his.
“I love you too, Flick, but…are you s
ure you want this? After…”
“Force my hand up.”
“What?”
“Force my hand. Grab it tighter and move it somewhere. Please, Aidan.”
He shook his head, and then I saw his arm flex, his grip tighten, and then…
And then nothing. It seemed completely odd, his muscles so much larger than mine, but he couldn’t move my hand an inch away from where I held it. I felt his muscles begin to tremble, his face flushing red with the effort of trying to move me, as if he needed it, to reassure himself I was strong enough to resist him, all of them.
I stroked his face when he finally gave up, looking around the room, sure my eyes were blazing green at that moment. The others nodded to me, acknowledging what had just been shown. I could surrender to them, for my pleasure and theirs, but I was strong now.
I placed my mouth on Aidan’s ear, whispering into it, though I’m sure everyone could hear what was said. “I love you, Aidan. You’ve held me and Kade so gently, so patiently. You’re a born husband and father. You have so much love to give, and every day I wake up, I can’t believe it's me you choose to give it to. But for this to be more than a brother-sister relationship, I need the Aidan you keep at bay to come forward. The Aidan who watches me with hungry eyes every time I come to bed, who kisses me just that little bit too hard, who wants to just fuck me sometimes, rather than always making love.”
I just listened to the ragged sound of his breath and felt his fingers dig into my skin.