We were down to my immediate family now, standing in front of everyone as Ophelia regarded the crowd.
“I’ve known both Peter and Aidan since they were young cubs, and seen them grow into the strong men we see today. It’s impossible for us to predict the Great Wolf’s path, but even as younglings, I could see they would honour her in their doings and grow to become good prospective mates.”
“Flick,” she turned to face me, “I have known for a much shorter time, though no less well for that. She came to us wearing the evidence of another’s cowardice, his pathetic attempts to break her and her child upon them. But just as the bruises have faded and their bodies healed, so have their souls. It’s a long path out of abuse and into healing, to shift from surviving to thriving, often one we spend our lives walking.” Ophelia’s eyes stopped roaming the crowd and settled on the woman I knew was Kiralee’s mother and her friends. “I am honoured you have taken me on that journey with you. So let's raise our glasses. To Kade, Flick, Aidan, and Peter!”
I felt it rise as the beer cans and goblets went up into the air, a huge thing, filling my chest. It made my eyes prick and my lip tremble.
“Flick?”
My hands went to my eyes, dashing away the tears before they could fall, but that just smeared them over my cheeks.
“Are you OK?”
“Mum?”
“I’m just happy, baby,” I tried to say, but to my complete and utter shame, it came out as a garbled wail. To make things worse, people made soothing noises, the crowd responding with a chorus of platitudes.
“Mummy!” Kade said, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight.
“Oh, Flick…” Ophelia said. “It’s all been a bit too much. Boys, take her inside, give her a moment, and help her wash her face. I’ll settle the mob down. We’ve got quite a few for the petitioning ceremony. Do you think she’ll be up for it? The men have been very restless.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, my words a distorted mess.
“Look, we can put this off or pause it. I shoulda told Mum to back the hell off,” Aidan said, pacing the bathroom floor.
“Is Mummy OK?” Kade said, his voice starting to waver.
“Mum’s fine. It’s a bit like you last night. You didn’t cry because you were sad, did you?” Peter asked. Kade solemnly shook his head. “Sometimes, when we get really happy, we cry. That’s what’s happened.”
“OK,” he said. “Kiralee’s outside. Can I go and play?”
“Just stick inside the gate, mind the big kids, and you should be fine.”
“Gimme a moment to clean up. Go and do damage control, please,” I told the guys.
“You’re sure?”
I nodded, moving over to the bathroom taps and turning them on. I splashed water on my face, trying to remove all of the evidence of my outburst.
“It’ll be alright, love. You’ll see,” Peter said, and then they both left.
Goddamnit, Flick, I thought, looking at the mirror and seeing my red rimmed eyes. If you were trying to convince people you were less of a freak…
I never understand this. Monkey brains are reactive and excitable, yet you concoct ways to be shamed by your own natures? Your kind is truly strange.
Do Tirians have no rules about what you do and don’t do?
Of course.
And how would you feel if you unwittingly did that thing?
There was a short pause. Oh.
I dried my face and then brushed my hair back into a neat ponytail. Time to face the music.
“Flick?”
I jumped when I heard a strange voice come from the kitchen. I walked stiff legged up to the doorway, worried about what I might see.