“Ophelia said we’re here under your sufferance. We’ll go if that’s what you need.”
“What?”
I had hoped to never hear that tone in my child’s voice again. He walked out into the lounge room, mouth still covered with toothpaste. Kade looked from me to Aidan to me again.
“Mum?”
Tears sprang unbidden at the sound of that one word. There was so much fear and anger and need in it.
“Mum?”
His voice was getting higher, shriller.
“Look, mate, if Mum says it's OK, I’ll come back—”
“No!” His toothbrush dropped to the floor, and some sickly conditioned part of myself wanted to rush in and clean away the toothpaste, rather than go to my son. But I did. I walked over, went to fold him in my arms, but he thrashed in my grip, sharp little elbows colliding with my injuries, forcing me to bite back my yelps. I was forced to let go of him, my hands on my aching midriff.
“Kade! Kade!” Aidan tried to calm him, but my son just wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist and hung on tight, as if to prevent him from leaving. “Look, mate, it’s OK. Just take a deep breath. Mum’s hurt, and I need to see if she’s OK.”
But he shouldn’t have. It was far more painful to watch my child crumple up into a small sobbing ball, arms wrapped around himself when there was no one there to hug, rocking himself back and forth in that absence.
“No,” I gasped through the waves of pain as Aidan came closer. “Kade.”
He nodded, picking my son up, my heart breaking when Kade hugged the man’s neck, burying his face in Aidan’s hair. Like he used to do to you, I thought, and that realisation hurt almost as much.
Of course, that was when Peter walked in. He blanched visibly at the chaos he surveyed. Kade was sobbing hysterically now. I watched Aidan’s hand rub up and down Kade’s back over and over with hungry eyes. Just this morning, he’d been curled up against me when I woke and then… Peter nodded, his eyes lingering on the way I held my stomach, then he crossed the floor and placed a hand on my shoulder. I shrank back, not wanting it, the comfort or the reassurance that came pouring down the bond. Not wanting him to be caught up in the spiral of shame and disgust that churned inside me.
“C’mon,” was all he said to all of us, and then steered me gently to the bed I’d slept in. I watched as Aidan came with us, carrying Kade. He went to one side of the bed and laid my son down, calming him when he began to fret. Then he kicked off his boots and nodded to me.
“Mum’s gonna lay down, and you’ll curl up next to her like you did last night.” He held up a hand when Kade went to reply. “We’ll be here as well, on either side, OK? We’ll keep the nightmares from coming.”
Nightmares? The word was like a grenade lobbed into my heart.
Aidan unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a singlet underneath. He sat on the end of the bed, his hand on Kade’s back, and then nodded to us.
“Put this on,” Peter said to me, taking off his shirt and passing it to me, then both men turned around to let me get changed. “It’ll be more comfortable, and the scent will help you sleep.”
I just stared at it for a second, then shook my head and did as I was told. He was right. I’d only worn soft sweats, nothing constricting, but the fall of the voluminous fabric and the woody smell permeating it helped soothe my ragged nerves a little. I climbed on the bed almost tentatively, Aidan smiling encouragingly. That hurt, that he felt like he had to. I moved to the centre, wanting to bury my head in the pillow and pull the blanket over my head, but instead, I reached out a tentative hand to my child.
As if able to sense it, Kade opened his eyes and then scrambled closer, grabbing onto the shirt I wore and burying his head on my chest. Aidan watched my hand fall down to rest on Kade’s shoulder blade with a smile, and then, with a questioning look, shifted to lay down beside us. I nodded, feeling Peter doing the same as he moved nearer, until I could feel the hot weight of his body against mine.
My eyes instantly fell to half mast, the most tremendous feeling of contentment washing through me. Screw the medication, this took all the pain away—both psychological and physical. Peter’s hand tightened on me as I pushed back against him, almost catlike in my need for more, but then Kade sniffled.
“You need Aidan right now, don’t you?” I asked in a whisper.
And then Kade said something that sent my every hair on end.
“He is pack.”
11
“How?” I snapped.
I’d asked for an emergency session with Ophelia after the night’s revelations and she’d granted it readily, both of us sitting in her tastefully decorated office.
“Well, Flick, this sort of thing is often common when new suitors start courting a child’s mother,” Ophelia said. “Children have their own opinions and instincts about the matter. That doesn’t mean you have to accede to them. Aidan could remain a close family friend if you decide not to take him as a mate.”
“Take him as a mate… You do realise I just left my husband after he kicked the shit out of us. Like, I don’t know exactly what happened. I… One minute, I was walking towards Rick with an ashtray in my hand, and the next, I was in the car, driving away. I might have killed him, murdered him!”