I had to think.
They hadn’t done anything to my body yet. I still had time. There was a way to escape. There was always a way to escape. My mind was still haunted by the dream. The blinding moonlight was still there when I blinked and I was so afraid that when I opened my mouth no words would come out. My throat was raw and scratchy, as though I had swallowed glass. My muscles ached. I had no idea how long I had been unconscious or where we were. We could have been travelling all night as far as I knew, and that meant we could have gone over state lines. I thought of Rachel and wondered if she had realized yet that I had gone missing. I cursed myself for leaving the bar so hurriedly. She would have probably assumed that I had gone home and wouldn’t bother checking on me until the morning, and I was notoriously bad at shutting myself away, so she might not realize that I had gone missing at all for days.
I was paying the price for my isolationist tendencies. I didn’t even have my cell with me as I hadn’t bothered to take it to the bar. I’d wanted a night away from people bothering me.
I had no way to contact the outside world. I was completely alone, at the mercy of these three men, and I had no idea what they wanted.
I breathed deeply and tried to compose myself. The first thing Mom taught me was that I had to remain composed no matter what. If I panicked then they were winning. I had to ensure that I was of a clear mind so that I could get out of this situation. I closed my eyes and practiced the breathing techniques that Mom had taught me. They had never worked to calm me down before a performance, but this time they did. I counted to nine as I inhaled and exhaled, filling my lungs with air, and gradually my heart rate slowed and I was able to have a better grip of the situation.
After this, I took the opportunity to take measure of my surroundings. The room was dark. There was a small, narrow window high on the ceiling, which was about ten feet high, and the walls were sheer, so there was no hope of me climbing up to at least get a glimpse of my surroundings. There was a single bed in the other corner of the room. I pulled myself over to it. The blanket was scratchy and the mattress creaked as I placed my weight on it. I looked to the window and gripped the cast iron bed frame, groaning as I tried to pull it towards the window, but it was far too heavy for me to do anything with it. I put all my strength into it, but it barely budged.
The floor was stone and the room was devoid of anything else, aside from the cup of drink that Matt had left. I gazed at it cautiously, warily, and eventually made my way over to it. My throat gasped for some kind of relief. I whimpered and sobbed, despite my best efforts to not show any weakness but there was only so much resolve a girl could muster. I licked my lips as I got closer to it and wrapped my hand around the mug. The liquid was gold in color and it smelled sweet. As soon as I brought it to my lips I was filled with the irresistible urge to taste it, even though I was afraid that it was another kind of drug that would render me unconscious.
But they already had me imprisoned. There was no need for them to drug
me again, especially not like this. They had me and they could easily overpower me. I know that when things seemed too good to be true they usually were, but in this instance I was inclined to at least take a chance on trusting the drink. After all, what else could happen to me? What could possibly be worse than my current situation?
I tilted the mug towards me and the thick liquid, which had the consistency of a smoothie and the taste of honey mixed with fruit, slipped between my lips and settled over my tongue. I gulped down one mouthful and then, when I didn’t immediately vomit, I finished off the rest of it greedily, wiping away the trickling remnants that lingered around my mouth. In fact I was so thirsty that I ran my finger inside the mug to get the last drops, and then sucked them off, surrendering to the relief that ran through my body.
I placed the cup back by the door and retreated to the bed. I sat with my legs pulled into my chest and watched the door like a hawk, waiting for any of them to come in. I thought about my next move. I could either try to fight them and make life so difficult for them that I was more trouble than it was worth to them. That was a solid plan, but it also led to the possibility of getting very, very hurt, and possibly killed. The other way was to act as though I had been defeated, to follow whatever orders they had for me and to surrender completely until I found a way to break free and survive, if such an opportunity presented itself.
As I thought about these possibilities I realized that in some ways I had been training for this all my life. Mom had always wanted me to put on a captivating performance and now I was going to have to do exactly that for the benefit of my captors. But first I needed to understand what they wanted from me, and why they had kidnapped me.
Chapter Four
“I’m ready to talk!” I yelled, as I beat my fists against the door. I shook my hands as pain throbbed. I’d been at it for a while now, and nothing had happened. I kicked and screamed, and then, eventually, gave up, frustrated. I sank on the floor, resting against the bed. I dared not lie down even though the lumpy comfort of the mattress was enticing, afraid that if I lay my head down I would fall asleep and be at their mercy, even more than I already was. My hands clawed at my hair. I dragged my eyes down, but thankfully my throat felt a lot better. Whatever had been in that strange liquid had been a healing elixir and I didn’t feel any ill effects, although part of me was waiting for the other shoe to drop and all the pain in the world to flood through my body.
For the time being though, it seemed as though these strange men were keeping their word. I wasn’t feeling the effects of a hangover either, which was strange. My head throbbed, but it was more from tiredness than anything else. It had been a whirlwind of a day and the Honey Pot seemed to be so far away. Would I ever see it again? Would I ever see the light of day? It was so cruel to leave me waiting here, festering, with the torment of my own mind, trying to figure out their intentions. Aside from the obvious I had no idea what they wanted from me. I’d heard lots of horror stories about human trafficking. I was probably the kind of girl they liked to prey on the most; I had no family, no ties. Barely anyone would miss me. I would just be one of those forgotten, missing people, the kind you hear about all the time. People look into it, they’re captivated by the mystery for a little while but eventually they lose interest because their own life takes over. It’s always the same way, and in the end these people just become a name lost in the ether. The essence of the life is lost, the very meaning is taken away.
I ran through old show tunes in my mind to try and stop myself from going crazy. I had no way to tell the time, as it seemed perennially dark through the window. All I could do was wait for one of them to come and see me. My destiny was in their hands.
*
I could feel myself falling asleep. My head drooped as though it was pulled by invisible weights. The bed, as lumpy and uncomfortable as it was, seemed inviting. I was beginning to get hungry and thirsty again. I walked around the room in an effort to keep my muscles moving and the blood flowing, although the room seemed to get smaller all the time. I picked up the blanket and placed it on the floor, and then I lay with my back flat against the surface. I stretched my lithe body and tried to still my mind, using the calming techniques of yoga to steady my rampant nerves. It was easy to relax in a calming environment with scented candles and meditative music playing in the background, far harder in a dark room where danger lurked behind the door.
Then, it opened. Jack was standing there. Matt was behind him.
“Ah, good, she’s had the drink,” he muttered, then he turned to me directly. “How are you feeling?” He spoke a little more loudly than usual, in the same manner as one would talk to an older relative who was hard of hearing.
“Don’t worry Matt, I’ll take care of this,” Jack said, before I could reply. Jack stepped into the room and leaned down, picking up the cup, and then handing it to Matt. Matt seemed perturbed, but he didn’t vocalize his dissatisfaction.
“Are you sure you want to be left alone?” Matt asked. Jack smirked and turned to the other man.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get your chance to be alone with her.”
Something about the way he said it made my skin crawl. I sat bolt upright and pulled the hair away from my face, trying to show even a hint of defiance. Matt closed the door and I was left alone with Jack.
He wore a leather jacket that hung slack over his shoulders. His body was slight, but he still had a good build, he had just looked more slender when compared to the bulky form of Buck. Jack pursed his lips and took a few steps into the room, but he maintained some distance from me. He studied me carefully, resting his chin against his hand. His boots were heavy, and they thudded whenever he walked. His gaze was piercing and I summoned the courage to lift my gaze to meet his. I remembered the brief flash of gold that had greeted me when I had awakened midway through the ride, but there was no trace of gold in his eyes now and I decided it must have been a trick of the mind.
The air around me simmered with tension and I vowed that I wasn’t going to speak first, but Jack waited and waited, he stared and stared, and eventually the pressure made me crack. The palpable tension was unbearable.
“What do you want with me?” I asked, hoping that this time he would offer me an answer. My head dropped as I asked the question and the words fell out of my mouth without much force. I put on the air of a defeated woman. It wasn’t too far from the truth. I only lifted my eyes to see if there was some hint of an expression flickering over his face, but there was nothing I could glean from him.
“Everything will become clear in time. But first I want to make sure that you’re okay. Are you feeling well?” he asked.
“About as well as I can be considering the circumstances. Why won’t you tell me what you want with me? You can’t just bring me here without permission. Why have you kidnapped me?!” I asked, the words coming out in a flurry. Jack studied me for a few moments more. I had no idea why he was being this mysterious. Fear mixed with anger and I felt just as I had done in all those auditions in my youth; as though my destiny lay in the hands of other people. I had always hated that feeling, the feeling of powerlessness. It was perhaps the worst feeling in the world. I had always wanted my life to be my own, to be the arbiter of my own destiny.
I realized then that it could never be the case. First it was my mother, now it was these men. But then again, could I really blame them? What had I done with my life that was so great? At least they had a plan for me, or so I assumed. Mom certainly did. I had no idea. I was just drifting along. Maybe they could sense this. Maybe that’s why they took me. I’d seen a few true crime things; people always said that kidnappers chose their victims carefully. I had nobody who was particularly going to miss me. I didn’t have a big impact on the world. I was practically nothing, an empty shell. I swallowed my fear. It didn’t take much of an appearance to seem demure and submissive. I bowed my head, allowing my hair to fall around me like a veil. My hands trembled.