“It’s okay Mom. I know that you were just trying to give me the best life you could imagine for me. I’m sorry for being ungrateful and not seeing things from your point of view more. I wish that I could go back now and tell you all of these things, to make up for the time we lost.”
“It’s okay little one, we had a good life and you’re telling me now.”
I sniffed and wiped a tear away from my eyes, although more came afterwards, leaving my skin glistening in the pale light. “What happened with him Mom?” I asked. “Did he ever tell you anything about all this?”
“No…not in so many words. As I said he was different and I got the impression that he looked at the world in a different way. One day he disappeared. He had been worried about something for a while, although he wouldn’t tell me what it was. Then I couldn’t get a hold of him. I tried, but I assumed that like so many other men all his promises had been empty and once he’d gotten what he wanted he left.”
“Why did you tell me he was an actor?”
“I didn’t want you to go looking for him, or if you did go looking for him I didn’t want you to find him. I wanted to spare you from that pain.”
“He didn’t leave you Mom. He was killed by these people called the Hunters, and he was different. He was…I don’t even know how to say it.”
“It’s okay,” Mom said in a reassuring tone, “I have a window into your soul Trish. I can also sense your conflict.”
“I just don’t know what to do. They kidnapped me and now they expect me to mother a new generation. But how can I give myself to them? How can I do this? I feel so lost and alone. I wish you were here to help.”
“I am always with you Trish, always,” she pointed to my heart. “You must look inside yourself and ask yourself what it is that you truly want. The world is a strange place and none of us knows our true place until we find it. I used to think that I belonged on a stage with thousands of adoring fans worshiping me, but that wasn’t what I was meant for at all. I was meant to be a mother, to be your mother. There was always so much anguish in your life Trish, so much doubt about your place in the world. I can only tell you what it felt like when I was with your father. It felt right. It felt as though I belonged. Perhaps when you gain a proper understanding of things, you might realize the same. I don’t know. But give these men a chance. They’re scared for their pack and they’re looking to you to be a mother. It is a great honor and a privilege. This aspect of the world…do you realize how few people get to see it? You have been blessed with knowledge,” she laughed softly, “some might say it was a curse. But all I’ll tell you is this; when you die you want to know that you have made a difference in life, that you have accomplished something. I was at peace when I died because I knew that no matter all the sins I had committed in the world, I had given you to it. You have been my salvation Trish and you will always choose the right path. You knew before I did that you weren’t meant to be on the stage. You were meant for something greater.”
Her head dipped and she caressed the side of my face again, before she drew her hands away. “I must go now. You have limited time here and there is another who wishes to speak to you.”
Mom receded. The mist was pulled back, drawn into the larger undulating mass of the fog. I cried out, wanting her to stay. I reached out and tried to grasp her hand, but it was only air and it spread away from my fingertips as I tried to clasp her.
“Mom…” I cried in a cracked voice. Pain flared in my heart at having to say goodbye again, at having her taken from me again. “Why…why couldn’t she stay?” I snapped at the wolf, but my words were weak and it offered nothing but a mysterious gaze in reply.
*
The wolf turned its head back towards the fog. Another form emerged, this one bigger and taller than Mom’s. I recognized it instantly as the man from the picture. Jake. My father. I reeled back in horror, not entirely sure how to react or respond. He walked up to me and studied me. The shadows of his eyes were deep pits, and yet somehow they managed to express all kinds of emotion, mostly regret and sorrow.
“Daughter…” he said. “I’m sorry for what happened. I’m sorry for not being there to watch you grow and offer you guidance. I have…I have been watching and I’ve seen the pain. There are so many times I’ve wanted to reach down and help, but I have been unable to do so.”
“Dad…” I said, so much emotion contained within that one small word.
“I know there is much you do not understand. I wish I could help you learn everything, but that is a journey you must take by yourself. What I can tell you is that Jack is a good man in his heart, he simply hurts and pain rules him at the moment. He can sense that the pack is dying. I sensed that same thing a long time ago… I wish I could have done more to help them.”
“I saw the photos. The year after you died they were all so sad. You meant a lot to them.”
“And they meant a lot to me. The same connection can happen with you as well, if you let it. I know they have not made the right decisions so far, but they mean well and they have done everything for the greater good. They care about the pack and they want to see it grow strong again. They want to protect innocents. These Hunters…they only want destruction and chaos. They want to spread pain and terror. The Howlers are the only thing standing in their way. Please Trish, I know that I wasn’t there to help you grow up or to teach you anything. I wish I had because I would have taught you all about this world. I would have given you everything you needed to understand…but that opportunity was taken from me because of the Hunters. They took me from you, and they’ll tear the pack apart if they have the opportunity.”
“Dad I…it’s so much. I don’t know if I can do it. There’s so much I don’t understand.”
“Look to the othe
rs. Use their strength. You can trust them. They won’t hurt you. I promise. You are my daughter and you were meant for this. This is your legacy, your heritage. It is a lot to place upon your shoulders, but I know that you can carry the weight because you are my daughter. Your blood is strong, and from blood flows life. Cast all doubt from your mind and think about what this will mean to others. I know there has been much pain and conflict in your soul about your place in the world. Always you have been searching for where you belong. This is your place Trish. It may not be what you envisioned, but it is your destiny. You must carry on the work I started. You must protect the pack. Please…for me. You and the pack are the only things I left the world. Now you must go. Your time is short.”
“No…Dad…wait! There’s so much I don’t understand. So much I want to talk to you about. There’s just…so much. Dad. Please don’t go! Not again!” I cried.
“I’m sorry Trish. I wish we had more chance to speak. One day we will. One day we will be reunited properly and we will make up for lost time. But until then you must remember that you are my daughter and that you are the one who can save the pack.”
His words reverberated in my mind and my soul, as deep as thunder and as meaningful as prophetic words that had been spoken thousands of years before. Once again I was rendered an emotional wreck as his form returned to the fog, drifting far away from me. I had barely had any time with him, certainly not enough to make up for a lifetime of pain, but I had the feeling that all the time in the world wouldn’t have been enough. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I looked at his receding form and I could see similar pain reflected in his shrouded expression. I saw his form stand by my mother’s. They linked hands and for a moment I saw them together, finally reunited after he had been so cruelly taken from her, and to see them happy like that was to see a glimpse of the life that had been denied to me. I could have had a mother and a father who loved each other rather than just a mother who was jaded by heartbreak and overwhelmed by the needs of a child.
My heart burned with hatred for the Hunters.
My parents returned to the mist and as much as I wanted to stay with them I knew that it was time for me to return to the mortal world. I looked down at the wolf, and the wolf was looking back at me. It opened its jaws and howled once again, the sweet song filling my mind and my soul. The song expanded and reached into the farthest depths of this eternal world. The fog dissipated and cleared. The silver light of the moon spread and filled my vision with radiant light. Even the wolf seemed to get bigger, and I realized that I was sinking into the watery surface, a surface that had been as hard as stone underneath the liquid. It pulled me down. As my natural instincts kicked in I struggled and writhed to break free, but there was nothing to do but surrender. The liquid filled my mouth and swept over my head, the last thing to be submerged were my fingers as I sank back to reality. I was dark and cold, and filled with longing.
Chapter Ten
I awoke with a gasp of breath. My head pounded and I rubbed my temples to try and calm the raging pain. I had collapsed to the floor. The glass had shattered as I dropped it and shards of glass surrounded me. My eyes were bleary and my heart ached. There was some sense of closure given that I had spoken to my parents, but I still yearned to speak to them more. I rubbed my lips and a black smear smudged my thumb, a leftover from what I had drunk. Now that I was sitting in my cell again it was difficult to believe the journey I had taken, but I knew in my heart that it was real. Those were my parents and that place had been a bridge between the two worlds. I had a better sense of understanding of what I needed to do now and what my place in the world was. I was ready to accept my fate but I had to speak to Jack first.