I felt for the brothers, I really did. This Ishmael was a cruel, horrible person and what he had done to their clan was tragic. It was loss on a scale that I couldn’t comprehend, but I didn’t think I was the woman they were looking for. Jackson had made a mistake and I had to leave, to flee and return to the path I had made for myself. I wanted to get back to living my life, not be pulled away to be some mother to wolves, and I knew that with the brothers now separated it gave me an opportunity to put my plan into motion.
I rose from the table and dabbed the corners of my mouth with a napkin and made my leave.
“Do I have to keep a close eye on you?” he asked.
“No,” I lied.
15
I left the table and walked through the dark corridors of the cabin. There was a solemn mood pervading the place and I felt more powerful than I had before. I was no longer a mere prisoner, even though I still wasn’t allowed to leave of my own volition. Now that I was armed with information and knew something of their motivations I was better able to put together a plan for my escape. Despite everything they had told me and the pity I felt for them I knew that I couldn’t stay here any longer. I wasn’t the woman they were looking for, and the sooner I returned to my regular life the better.
Now that the brothers were separated I could make my move. Instead of returning to my room I slipped into Jamie’s. Outside, I heard the soft sobs of a man who wanted to keep his emotions hidden. I pushed open the door and saw the Jamie sitting on his bed with his head in his hands, looking overwhelmed. I closed the door behind me and heard it click. He looked up and sniffed back his tears. The moonlight poured in through the window and bathed his bed in a silver glow.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“I just came to talk.” I walked in slowly, closing the distance between us until I was beside him. I sat on the bed. It creaked under the weight of both of us. Part of me felt guilty for using him like this, for he seemed like a good person, but sometimes in this life you had to do whatever was right for you. I’d already been selfless once when I had come to find Mel, and I wasn’t about to make the same mistake again. “I get it, you know. It must be hard for you to have lost everything. I suppose that I envy you in a way, because you had people to lose. I’ve never had anyone. My parents didn’t care for me, and I’ve never allowed myself to get close to anyone else, not really, because I was always afraid that something like this would happen.”
“What about your friend?”
“She was just a friend. I can sense much pain in you Jamie, like you’ve had your future taken away from you as well,” I said, echoing the words that Logan had said to me.
“That’s exactly how I felt. I never wanted any of this, you know. When Mom and Dad and Jackson and all the others told me about how wolves used to be I hated the thought of it. I didn’t think fighting was right. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t all just live in peace. They tried to tell me that there were dangerous people out there, people who would want to see us harmed, but I didn’t believe them. Then Ishmael came along and he showed me that everyone else was right. I felt like my life was a lie. I was forced to fight, to kill, all in order to save my brothers. I couldn’t save anyone else. It was…it was horrible. And then Jackson tried to get us to force you to be the mother and I just…I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. I know that Mom and Dad wouldn’t have wanted us to be like this, but then Jackson was attacked and I just don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
He became overwhelmed with emotion and collapsed into my arms. I wrapped him arms around him and made soft comforting noises. His body trembled close to mine and I stroked his back. He sniffed and breathed heavily and then rubbed his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be like this. It’s just that talking about it brings everything back.”
“It’s okay. I understand. I used to get the same way whenever I spoke about my parents, but over time it gets easier. Over time you start caring less…”
“But I don’t want to care less. I don’t want to forget about them. I just want to have them back,” he said. Sometimes it was difficult for me to remember that other people loved their parents, that not everyone had the same disappointing childhood as I had had. Jamie cared about his parents deeply and it had clearly affected him. In that moment I wished that I could have made everything better, but I knew nothing could bring them back and he would just have to have time to heal, or time for his resentment to fester so that he could feast on it. It would have been interesting to see what kind of man he’d become once he had processed all his grief, but I wouldn’t be around to see it, and the next part of my plan was going to hurt me, because I was taking advantage of a wounded soul, but I had been kept here against my will and I wasn’t about to stay because of Jamie’s fragile emotions.
I caressed his back gently and continued making soothing noises before my hands moved around his body and started to roam a little more freely. At first he didn’t seem to notice what I was doing until I reached down and stroked his thigh. As soon as my hand was against his leg he reeled back and looked at me with confusion, and a little panic.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I just want to make you feel better,” I said, tilting my head to the side. I caressed his cheek and smiled at him. “You’ve shown my kindness Jamie, I just wanted to return the favor I suppose. I’m sorry if I’m stepping over my boundaries. I suppose that I’m not everyone’s type…” I pulled my hand away dramatically and turned my head. Jamie had no experience with woman and he was easy to manipulate. I waited a few moments for him to say the inevitable.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad it’s just that, well, I’ve never done anything like this before and you’re so…I mean…you’re definitely my type I just…I’ve been through so much and nobody has ever shown me how to…”
I silenced him with a kiss, pressing my warm lips against his, thrusting an eager tongue into his mouth. I placed my hand on his chest and let my breath wash over his mouth. I kissed him slowly and deeply, teaching him by experience just as I had been taught years before. I let out a small moan as I leaned back and wore a satisfied smile. I liked the look of hazy delight that came upon him.
“You’re a natural,” I said, still sitting with my body close to him. I leaned forward so that my hair framed my face and I started to stroke his neck and chest. I looked down and watched him squirm as he attempted to hide his arousal. I leaned in and kissed him again. This time he was more eager. His breaths were rushed and he swallowed his nerves.
“In the bathroom…did you mean what you said?”
“I always mean what I say. You’re a sweet man Jamie, and you’re very handsome. You’re just my type too. I’ve been scared here, and so alone, but you’ve helped to make it feel a little less scary. I just want to
make you feel good. Can I make you feel good?”
“Y-yes,” he stammered. I kissed him again. I had him exactly where I wanted him. “Just tell me if I’m going too fast,” I said, and let my hand run down his body. He leaned back as the pleasure washed over him and his eyes fluttered shut. I ran my hand along the inside of his thigh and squeezed. A small moan erupted from his gut and his body rumbled with delight as I moved my hand up further, finding the outline of his erection under his jeans. I squeezed it and his mouth opened wide, a long rush of air exhaled from his mouth and I almost thought he was going to shoot his load then.
I removed my hand and he licked his lips, his chest heaving. I got him to lie down, pushing him onto the bed; he didn’t resist. I opened his shirt and kissed him all over his body, pressing my lithe curves against him, making sure he felt my breasts close to him. His hardness throbbed and swelled, and I sat up over his legs, placing both my hands on his groin, pressing and squeezing. His head twisted as he looked down at me. I slowly unclasped his belt and unfastened his pants, pulling them down with me. I smirked at him as I did so, wanting to make him feel like he was the best man in the world. That’s what all men wanted really, what all people wanted. I knew that a whirlpool of emotions would have been swirling through his mind. I remembered my first time; all the fear and anxiety and excitement and anticipation created a powerful cocktail that was intoxicating and seized the soul.
I felt guilty in a way; I believed that every person should have their first time with someone who really loved them and really cared about them. I had been lucky in that regard. It had been one of the only strokes of luck I had actually enjoyed during my life, so I consoled myself with the thought that I wasn’t going to go all the way with Jamie, I was just going to leave him dazed and delirious so that I had a chance to escape.
I dragged his pants down and brought his boxers with him.
“You’re so big and manly,” I said excitedly, and this time I didn’t have to lie. I wondered if it was a trait all wolves shared, or just the three brothers, but his erection was thick and long, and I did actually feel a flush of arousal, which I quickly quelled as I had a mission to accomplish and I couldn’t let myself become distracted (I didn’t have much pleasure in life so I took my enjoyment from any source I could find it, and there was never anything more visceral than the heat of sex). I curled both my hands around his erection and started to pump. I watched delight flicker upon his face as I pleasured him and I quickly learned what made him gasp the most. I pulled his taut skin up and down and ran my fingers delicately over his pulsing veins. I kissed his thighs and breathed over him, and I could see the hairs standing all over his body. He twisted and writhed and moaned incoherently.