I’ve never taken care of a sick person before, so I have no medicine at all. I think I’m about to make a pharmacy run. I might slip this letter under your apartment door on my way there.
It isn’t fun taking care of a sick person. The sounds, the smell, the lack of sleep—it’s actually almost as bad for the person doing the caring. Every time I check his temperature or force him to drink water, I think about you and how you cared for me with such a gentle parental instinct. I’m trying to replicate that in my care for Josh, but I don’t think I’m as good at this as you were.
You were so young, just a few years older than Josh is now. But I’m sure you felt much older than you were. I know I did. We had been through things no kid should have to experience. It makes me wonder if Josh feels his age, or if he feels older than he should because of all he’s been through.
I want him to feel young for as long as he can. I want him to enjoy his time with me. I want him to know whatlove is long before I did. And I hope that love has been seeping slowly into him so that it doesn’t hit him all at once like it did me. I want him to grow up with it, wrapped in it, surrounded by it. I want him towitnessit.
I want to be an example for him. I wantusto be an example for him, and for Emerson. Me and you, Lily.
It’s been six months.
Move in with me.
Love,
Atlas
As soon as I finish reading the letter, I set it down and wipe my eyes. If this is how much I cry when he asks me to move in with him, I have no idea how I’ll survive a proposal.
Or wedding vows, for that matter.
I pick up my phone and call Atlas over video chat. It rings for ten long seconds, and when Atlas finally answers it, he’s lying on his living room couch. He’s smiling through his obvious exhaustion from being up all night with Josh.
“Hey, beautiful.” His voice is barely awake.
“Hi.” My hand is curled into a fist, and I’m resting my cheek on it, pushing down my huge smile. “How’s Josh feeling?”
“He’s okay,” Atlas says. “He’s sleeping, but I think I stayed up so long, my brain is too overwhelmed to shut off now.” He puts a fist to his mouth and stifles a yawn.
“Atlas.”I say his name sympathetically because he does look absolutely drained. “Do you need me to come over and give you a hug?”
“You mean do I need you to comehomeand give me a hug?”
I smile when he says that. “Yes. That’s exactly what I meant. Do you need me to comehomeand give you a hug?”
He nods. “I do, Lily. Come home.”
Chapter Thirty-FiveAtlas
“Aren’t you rich?” Brad asks. “Couldn’t you hire people to do this for you?”
“I own two restaurants. I’m not even close to rich. And why would I hire someone when I have you guys?”
“At least we’re goingdownstairs,” Theo says.
“Take notes from your son, Brad. Silver lining.”
We don’t have much left to move. Lily didn’t need a lot of her stuff since my house is already furnished, so she donated most of it to a local domestic violence shelter. We should have her apartment completely cleared out by this afternoon.
Brad is the only person I know with a truck, so he and Theo have been helping us load the things we can’t fit into our cars. Emerson’s crib, Lily’s living room television, some of the artwork hanging on her walls.
Josh lucked out. He’s at baseball practice, so he didn’t have to help with the move.
I was surprised when he came home a few months ago and told me he had signed up for tryouts. He made the team and has been giving it everything he has. Between Lily and I, we haven’t missed a single game.
I texted our mother his schedule, but so far she hasn’t shown up to a game. She’s only shown up once to the dinnerswe started having every Tuesday night. I was hoping she would want to be more involved, but I’m not surprised she isn’t. I doubt Josh is surprised, either. We don’t focus too much on what isn’t working out in our lives. We focus on whatis, and there’s a lot to be grateful for. The two main things being that I was able to get custody of Josh, and Lily and Emerson are moving in with us. Funny how drastically life can change on a dime.
The Atlas of last year wouldn’t know what to think of the Atlas of this year.