“Don’t insult my girlfriend or I’ll stop cooking for you.” Atlas steals the last slice of bacon off Josh’s plate.
“These eggs are great, Lily,” Josh says with fake enthusiasm.
I laugh while Atlas takes a seat next to me. As much as I want to spend the entire day here with him, I’ve already stayed longer than I intended.
It also feels like he and Josh have a lot to work out today.
“I have to go,” I say regretfully. Atlas nods, and I scoot back from the table. “I’m gonna go grab my stuff.” I walk to the bedroom, but I don’t close Atlas’s door, so I hear their conversation as I’m packing my bag.
Atlas says, “You feel like taking a road trip today?”
“Where to?” Josh asks.
“I found your dad’s address.”
I pause gathering my things and walk closer to the door so I can hear Josh’s response.
“You did?” There’s a new excitement in Josh’s voice. “Does he know we’re coming?”
“No, I only got his address. I don’t know how to get in touch with him. But you were right: He’s in Vermont.” I can hear the dread Atlas is attempting to cover up in his voice all the way from his bedroom.God, I hate this for him.
I hear Josh running toward his room. “He is going to be so shocked!”
I finish packing with a heavier heart. When I walk back into the kitchen, Atlas is standing in front of the sink, staring out the window into his backyard. He doesn’t hear me, so I put my hand on his shoulder.
He immediately pulls me in and kisses me on the side of my head. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
He carries my bag to the car and places it in the backseat. I open my door, but we hug again before I climb inside.
This is the kind of hug Atlas gave me when he showed up at my apartment needing a hug that night. It’s long and sad, and I don’t want to let go of him. “What do you think is going to happen when you get there?” I ask.
Atlas finally releases me, but keeps his hand on my hip while he leans against my car. He sighs, threading his finger through a belt loop on my jeans. “I don’t know. Why do I feel so worried for him?”
“Because you love him.”
Atlas’s eyes scroll over my face. “Is that why I always feel worried for you? Because I love you?”
My breath hitches at his question. “I don’t know. Do you?”
Atlas digs his fingers into my waist, and he pulls me to him. He lifts his hand and traces a finger down my neck, until it meets my tattoo. “I’ve loved you for years and years and years, Lily. You know that.” He moves his finger and then kisses me there, and that move coupled with his words takes everything in me to keep my composure.
“I’ve loved you for just as long.”
Atlas nods. “I know you have. No one on this earth loves me like you do.” He cradles my head in both of his hands, and he tilts my face up to his and he kisses me. When he pulls back, he looks at me longingly, like I’ve already left and he’s already sad about it. Or maybe that’s just what I’m imagining he feels, since that’s whatIfeel.
“I’ll call you tonight. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Good luck today.”
I drive home with such conflicted feelings. Every moment with him over this last day was more than I could have hoped for, but knowing what he’s about to face makes my heart feel like a piece of it broke off and stayed with him.
I’m going to be thinking about him all day. I’m hoping they don’t find Tim, but if they do, I hope Josh makes the right decision.
Chapter Thirty-OneAtlas
It’s a three-hour drive there. Josh hasn’t said much. He’s been reading, although if he’s as nervous as I am about this, I’m not sure he’s actually absorbing anything he’s reading. He’s been on the same page for five minutes. It’s a drawing of what looks like a battle scene, but mostly all I see is cleavage.
“Is that manga appropriate for a twelve-year-old?” I ask him.