Now that we’ve stayed the night together, I have a feeling the ache is going to get worse. I’m going to grow irritable when I have to go too long without seeing her. She’s standing right next to me while we brush our teeth, but I’m already dreading that she’s about to leave.
Maybe if I offer to cook her breakfast, I’ll get her for at least another hour.
“Why do you have a spare toothbrush?” Lily asks me. She spits her toothpaste into my sink and winks at me. “You have overnight guests a lot?”
I smile at her and rinse my mouth, but I don’t answer that question. I have that toothbrush for her, but I don’t want to admit it. I’ve made a lot of small moves over the years that were all excused withjust in case Lily…
After she left my place a couple of years ago while she was hiding from Ryle, I went out and bought a lot of things just in case she needed to come back. An extra toothbrush, more comfortable pillows for my guest room, a change of clothes in case she showed up in an emergency.
I had a Lily emergency kit, if you will. I guess now it’s more of a Lilysleepoverkit. And yes, I brought it all to the new house with me when I moved. I’ve always had a little bit of hope that we’d end up together someday.
Hell, if I’m being honest with myself, I’ve had a great deal of hope. I’ve based a lot of my decisions on the possibility that Lily might come back into my life. I even chose this house over another one I was considering, simply because of the backyard. It looked like a backyard Lily would fall in love with.
I wipe my mouth on a hand towel and then hand it to her to use. “Can I make you breakfast before you go?”
“Yeah, but kiss me first. I taste better than I did this morning.” She stands on her tiptoes and I wrap my arms around her and lift her the rest of the way to my mouth. I kiss her while I walk her out of the bathroom and then drop her onto my mattress. I hover over her.
“You want pancakes? Crepes? An omelet? Biscuits and gravy?” Before she can answer me, my doorbell rings. “Josh is home.” I give her a quick peck. “He likes pancakes. Will that work?”
“I love pancakes.”
“Pancakes it is.” I walk to the living room and unlock the door for Josh. I open it, and then I immediately freeze at the sight of my mother.
I sigh, frustrated I didn’t use the peephole.
She looks at me flatly, her arms folded across her chest. “I got a visit from a caseworker yesterday.” Her eyes are accusing, but at least she isn’t yelling.
I am not about to do this with Lily here. I step outside and try to close the door, but my mother slaps it open. “Josh, get out here!” she yells into the house.
“He isn’t here.” I keep my voice low.
“Where is he?”
“At a friend’s house.” I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time. Brad said he’d have Josh here by ten, and it’s ten fifteen.Please don’t let him show up while Sutton is here.
“Call him,” she demands.
The door is wide open from when Sutton pushed it, so I can see out of the corner of my eye when Lily emerges from the hallway.
This is not how I wanted my morning with Lily to end. I can feel the regret slide all the way through me. I shoot her an apologetic look, and then give my attention back to Sutton.
“What did the caseworker say?” I ask her.
Her mouth screws into a tight twist, and then she looks to her left. “They’re not even opening an investigation. If you don’t return him to me today, I’ll file charges.”
I know the steps Child Protective Services has to take during an investigation, and they haven’t even contacted Josh for an interview yet. “You’re lying. I’d like you to leave.”
“I’ll leave when I have my son.”
I exhale. “He doesn’t want to live with you right now.”Or ever, but I save that sting.
“He doesn’t want tolivewith me,” she repeats with a laugh. “What kid that agewantsto live with their parents? And how many parentshaven’tslapped a kid that age? They don’t end custody over that.JesusChrist.” She folds her arms over her chest again. “The only reason you’re doing this is to get back at me.”
If she knew me, she would know I’m not vengeful like she is. But of course, the conclusion she comes up with is something that only fits her own personality. “Do you miss him?” I ask her, my voice calm. “Honestly. Do you miss him? Because if you’re doing this to prove something to someone, just let it go.Please.”
Brad’s car turns onto the street, and I wish there were a way I could ask him to keep driving. But he’s pulling up to the curb before I can even reach my phone. Sutton follows my line of sight and sees Josh opening the back door of Brad’s car.
She immediately walks toward the car, but Josh pauses when he sees her. More likefreezes. He doesn’t know what to do.