Lily’s head is on my shoulder and her hand is on my chest, so she feels it when I exhale all the air from my lungs. She lifts her head and looks at me anxiously. “Just say it.”
“Say what?” I ask her.
“Your thoughts about my situation. Your eyebrows are all scrunched together like you’re worrying about something.” She lifts her hand and uses her thumb to smooth out my serious expression.
“Is it too late to tell the court he was a danger to you in the past? Maybe that would help prevent him from getting overnights with her.”
“Once two people agree on a custody arrangement, you can’t use past evidence to modify an arrangement. Unfortunately, I never reported him, so I can’t use the abuse as a defense at this point.”
That is unfortunate. But I can understand her attempting to keep things civil with him at the time. I’m just worried it might come back on her in a negative way.
“He’s too busy to have her half the time, or even overnights, really. I doubt he would ever try to get joint custody of her.”
I press my lips together and nod, hoping she’s right. I don’t know him like she does, but from what I do know of him, he seems to hold grudges. And people who hold grudges tend to need retaliation. Parents do this all the time.They don’t like what another parent is doing, or who they’re seeing, so they use their child as a weapon. And that worries me. I could absolutely see Ryle making the decision to take her to court, simply to get back at her for being with me. And he would likely get what he wants. He’s never hurt Emerson, he’s never been reported for hurting Lily, he’s never been late on child support. And he has a successful career. All these things are in his favor.
When I glance at Lily, it looks like she’s about to sink into the floor. I didn’t mean to upset her even more by talking about this.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a pessimist. We can change the subject.”
“You aren’t a pessimist, Atlas. You’re a realist, and I need that from you.” She lifts her head off my shoulder and peeks over at Emmy, who is still asleep on my leg. Then Lily settles against me again, releasing a quiet sigh. “You know, even if I had reported Ryle and fought for sole custody, my chances were slim. He has no criminal history, and he has money for the best lawyers. Almost every lawyer I spoke to encouraged me to work it out civilly with him because they’ve seen cases like ours, and the arrangement Ryle was agreeing to at the time was my best option.”
I grab her hand and lace my fingers through hers. She wipes away a tear that skates down her cheek. I hate that I even brought it up, but these fears are already in her. I’m just glad to know she’s thinking about it because she needs to stay a step ahead of Ryle. “Whatever happens, you aren’t alone in this anymore.”
Lily smiles appreciatively.
Emerson begins to stir awake on my leg. She opens her eyes and looks at me, and then immediately searches for Lily. She makes a beeline for her, right across my lap. When she’s in Lily’s arms, I lift my leg and stretch it. I haven’t been able to move it for over half an hour and it’s asleep.
“We should go,” she says. “I feel guilty for even being here with her. I’d be livid if Ryle took her around a girlfriend without me knowing.”
“I think your situations are a little different. Ryle isn’t having to find a safe place to hide your daughter for the day because he’s scared of your temper. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
Lily shoots me a grateful look.
I help her gather their things and I walk her to the car. Once Emerson is in her car seat, Lily moves close to say goodbye. I burrow my fingers in her hips and tug her closer. I dip my head, grazing her nose, and then I catch her lips with mine. I kiss her deeply, wanting her to still feel it on her drive home.
I slide my hands into the back pockets of her jeans and squeeze her ass. It makes her laugh. Then she sighs wistfully. “I already miss you.”
I nod in agreement. “There’s been a lot of that on my end,” I admit. “I’m kind of obsessed with you, Lily Bloom.” I kiss her cheek and then force myself to release her.
This is the only negative aspect to finally being with the person you’re meant to be with. You go years aching to be with them, and when they finally become a significant part of your life, it somehow hurts evenmore.
Chapter Twenty-SixLily
You disappoint me Lily.
I’m staring at my phone in shock.
Is this a joke?
You treat me like a monster im her goddamn father
It’s five in the morning. I woke up to use the bathroom, and naturally, I glanced at my phone before attempting to get the last hour of sleep before my alarm goes off.
All the texts are from Ryle. I haven’t heard from him since he showed up at my house on Sunday. It’s been four days, and he never even bothered to reach out and apologize for losing his temper on me. He was silent for four days and thenthis?
I was happier before I met you.
I read through the barrage of text messages, knowing full well he was drunk when he sent them last night. The first one was sent at midnight, and the last one, from two in the morning, reads,have fun fucking the homeless guy.