I sputter out a weak laugh. “I’m a criminal. And I suppose that might be the one thing Zade is responsible for. Turning me into a trained killer. But you know what? I like it. I like being able to protect myself now. And I like that I don’t feel so weak anymore. Does that make me a bad person?”
I pause, frowning. “Don’t answer that. You’re going to ask me to stop. And you’re going to tell me you want the old Addie back. But she’s gone, Mom. And I know Dad disapproves of the new version of me, but I hope one day, you both will relearn to love who I’ve become.”
A single tear breaks free, and I curse the drop for betraying me. I quickly wipe it away, sniffling again.
“I’ll understand if you can’t. Sometimes I struggle with loving myself, too. But you know the one person who will? Who will always love me unconditionally? It’s my criminal boyfriend. And don’t you think that’s just fucking admirable?”
I smile without humor. “I think it’s only fair if we try, though. You decided that when I came home, I was worth loving as a broken shell of a person. I think you can learn to love me as someone who is fierce and strong, right? So now, I want you to come home, and whatever version of yourself you wake up to be, and whatever version you grow into—I’ll love you, too.”
Chapter 40
The Diamond
“Let me talk to her,” I demand through the phone, plunging my trembling hand through my hair.
“Addie, I’m tired of having this conversation. It’s best you give your mother some space for now,” Dad answers, sounding exhausted.
“Then let’s stop having it!” I shout.
We’ve only been talking for one fucking minute, and it’s his own fault when he won’t give the phone to my mother. I’ve tried every day since she’s been home, and he won’t give in. I even went as far as driving there, but he wouldn’t let me in.
Teddy kept her for over a week, monitoring her and slowly nursing her back to health.
She was out cold nearly the entire time. And the few times she did wake, I don’t think she has much recollection of. She was mainly confused and disoriented, and in a lot of pain.
Dad, Zade, and I stayed by her side the entire week, while Sibby went home with her henchmen. It took them four hours to reappear, and the second they did, she was back to her old self. I’m sure they had lots of orgies while we were gone.
Once Teddy felt Mom was stable and could recover at home, Zade drove us back to their house. His team took care of the bodies and even went as far as restoring the house to its former state. I think Dad was shaken when he walked in, and it looked as if nothing ever happened.
He let Zade and I help get Mom settled in their bed and then promptly kicked us out. That was five days ago, and he still won’t let me see or talk to her.
My only reprieve is he’ll let Daya in, thinking she’s removed from my felon life or something. But now I’m unsure if he’ll even allow that anymore.
“Why? Did she say that herself, or is that a decision you’re making?”
“I know what’s best for my fucking wife,” he snaps, his anger rising. But I don’t shrink away like I normally would’ve. I told Mom that version of myself was gone, and it was the truth.
“So, what you’re saying is that I’m not good for her,” I conclude, my voice shaking with anger. My fist curls, and the urge to send it flying into the wall nearly overcomes me.
“You and that boyfriend of yours,” Dad corrects. “I’ve agreed not to go to the police about this entire situation. But that doesn’t mean I will allow you both to be in her life if this is what will happen. If you want to fuck off and become a criminal, fine, but don’t involve us in it.”
The phone clicks off a second later, and I erupt. Letting out a frustrated scream, I send my phone flying across the room, right as Zade steps through the door.
He stills, eyes tracking the phone as it crashes into the stone wall and crumples to the floor in pieces.
“Do you want me to go kidnap her?” he offers.
I snap my head to him, my rage deepening.
“He’s not letting me see her because we’re criminals. And your solution is to… commit another crime?”
“Well, when you put it like that.”
Growling, I whip away from him and storm towards the balcony, needing to get away.
The warm wind whips through my hair the second I step out, sending the strands flying around my face. It only embodies how I feel, like Medusa with a crown of angry snakes.
It’s not fair, but it’s becoming harder and harder to look at Zade and not blame him, too. I’m beginning to revert back to that bitter, hateful part of myself that was convinced my life wouldn’t be such a goddamn shitshow if Zade didn’t come barreling into it.