Adrenaline pumps into my system, and dread pools in my gut.
I may be stronger than I was, but that doesn’t mean that PTSD doesn’t have me by the throat still. Trauma isn’t something that just poofs away. I’ve been improving, but it’s a work in progress, and I have a sick feeling Xavier will roundhouse kick me back into that dark place it took me weeks to crawl out of.
He’s the boogeyman in my nightmares. The face I can’t get out of my head. The things he put me through were far worse than any of the things Rocco and his friends did to me. What he did to me was fucking personal.
I wasn’t just another body being passed around from man to man. I was a possession that he took his sweet time with. He drew out my suffering for as long as he could, and those are the moments that haunt me most.
I pleaded for a death he’d never grant me, giving him power over a life that was never his to take.
But I refuse to cower now. I refuse to give him any control over me ever again. Tonight, I’m going to take back that power and make him wish he’d just stuck the knife in my fucking throat.
The doorknob wiggles behind me, attracting Xavier’s attention. I seize the opportunity and drive my fist directly into his nose in a snap movement.
His head knocks back, eyes bulging with surprise. Before he can recover, I’m lunging at him, landing another punch to his stomach and then to his temple.
He roars, his arm whipping out and catching me on the side of my head, the gold ring on his finger slicing across my cheek. Blood pours from his nose as he tackles me, a snarl on his face.
We land against the door harshly, knocking the breath from my lungs. He then grips me by the biceps and throws me with all his strength, pure rage on his face.
I fly to the ground, crying out as I land awkwardly on my shoulder, my temple knocking on the tile floor. Stars explode in my vision, drowning out Zade’s now panicked voice in my ear.
He’ll have Jay working to unlock the doors, and it won’t take him long to figure out how, but all Xavier needs is a second to kill me.
Through blurred vision, I see Xavier’s fist fly towards my face. Instinctively, I roll out of the way, causing his hand to bound off the hard floor. He shouts, shaking out his hand to rid himself of the pain.
Gritting my teeth, I kick out my leg, but he manages to catch me by the ankle and drags me towards him.
His face is contorted with animalistic fury. Blood pours from his broken nose, leaking into the cracks of his bared teeth.
I struggle against him, kicking my leg with all my might, managing to dislodge his hand long enough to drive my foot into his face.
He turns just in time, my heel only clipping his temple.
“Fucking bitch,” he snarls, grabbing at my legs again and climbing on top of me. I thrash violently, only assisting him in rolling me to my stomach and pinning my hands to my sides with his knees. He tears at my dress, and for a moment, I lose control and descend into panic. A scream rips from my throat as he lifts my dress up past my ass.
No matter how hard I fight, he only squeezes me tighter between his thighs, and my efforts are useless.
The clang of his buckle is what snaps me out of it.
I’ll be damned if this fucker ever puts his dick anywhere near me again.
Panting heavily, I stop moving and lie my face onto the cool tile.
He chuckles, believing I’ve given up just like every other time. I used to lie there and just take it, knowing that fighting would only make it worse.
“There ya go, diamond. That’s a good—"
Growling, I buck against him, catching him off guard and causing him to pitch forward. And then I rear my head back, bashing it directly into his nose.
He lets out an agonized wail, his grip on me loosening. Twisting, I drive my fist directly into his trachea.
His eyes nearly pop out of their sockets, his cries depleting as he struggles for oxygen. Right at that moment, the door bashes open, the sound thunderous.
Zade strides in, the fury on his face so potent that all his distinguishable features get lost in it.
“Zade, don’t kill him,” I shout, a different kind of panic sprouting when he grabs Xavier by the back of his blazer and lifts him like he’s holding up a goddamn cat by the scruff of its neck. He grips him tight enough that it reopens the cut on his hand, his blood beginning to trail down his wrist.
“Zade!” I shout, scrambling towards them when I see him slide his gun from the back of his pants, a silencer already screwed on. He doesn’t hear me, so I do the only thing I can think of and grab the barrel of his gun, twisting it towards me.