By the time I get back in the car, I’m overwhelmed with emotion. From getting to see what Zade built and how fucking beautiful it is, to seeing Jillian and hearing about Rio—I’m a damn mess.
“Do you still want to kill him?” I ask, not bothering to clarify. He knows who I’m talking about.
“Yes,” he admits.
“Even after meeting his sister and hearing that he’s suffered, too?”
He’s silent for a beat. “One person’s suffering does not justify the pain they inflict on others.”
“You’re right, but he also didn’t have a choice,” I argue.
Zade sets his jaw, pulling out of the parking space and heading down the dirt road.
“Baby, there’s no good answer for this. If you want me to forgive him, that will never fucking happen. He’s directly responsible for nearly killing you in a car accident, kidnapping you, and bringing you into a place where you were repeatedly raped and abused. What do you want me to fucking say? He’s a victim, too, and all’s forgiven?”
I snap my mouth shut. Just like people aren’t black and white, neither are our emotions toward them. Rio caused me a lot of pain, and regardless of the person I came to know in that house, Zade didn’t experience that. He didn’t get to know Rio like I did, and the only thing he’ll ever see is the man who helped ruin my life. I can’t fault him for that. Especially when I don’t think I’d be so forgiving either if the roles were reversed.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He sighs. “You have nothing to be sorry for, little mouse.”
The gates open for us again, and he pulls out onto the road.
“Can you take me to one more place?” I ask.
“Anywhere,” he answers.
I hold up my arm, showing him the barcode Rio tattooed on my wrist.
“I want to get a tattoo.”
He smiles. “Of my name?”
I snort. “Keep dreaming, buddy.”
Chapter 26
The Diamond
You bleed so pretty, diamond. Like your body was meant to be cut up by my knife.
I set my trembling hand down, still clutching the knife until my knuckles turn white. Maybe I don’t need to make this salad.
Fuck, I know it hurts so good, doesn’t it, diamond? Look at all that blood.
My favorite color has always been red, and my God, do you look beautiful covered in it.
A hand brushes across my shoulder, and all of those memories come to life. Xavier is standing behind me, ready to take from me again. And I can’t let it happen. I won’t survive it.
“No!” I scream, whipping around and sending the knife flying straight toward his face. Does he like the sight of his own blood? I’ll show him how glorious it looks on him, too.
A hand closes around my wrist, halting my progress, but fuck him. He’s not going to stop me—not this time.
“Little mouse,” he whispers, and that confuses my brain. Enough for Xavier’s face to fade, only for Zade’s to appear.
Heart racing and vision blurred with tears, my hand flies open, the knife clattering loudly against the tile.
Fuck me, I almost just stabbed Zade in the face. Eyes widened with shock; the only thing I’m capable of is to stare, unsure if Zade is an apparition, too. He studies me closely, face carefully blank as he lowers my hand.