She turned her head to look back at me and then returned to what she was going. "Yes, I am. I didn't like how I felt last night, and I don't want to feel that way anymore."
"Then stay."
As she folded a shirt and stuffed it into her bag, she said, "That's what made me feel that way in the first place, Eric. Well, you made me feel that way. I didn't like it, so I think it's time for me to go. You don't need a dessert chef or whatever I was supposed to be pretending to be anyway, so you won't miss me."
Her words cut me to the bone. I didn't mean to make her feel like she’d said or done anything wrong last night. That's just the way I'd always been with women.
"I'm sorry, Maddie. I never meant to make you feel bad. I don't even know exactly what I did to do that."
She stilled her folding for a moment and turned around to face me. Her frown, deeper now than before, made me hate myself because I was the one responsible for putting it there on her beautiful face.
"I said we were pretty good together, and you pulled away. I guess I can understand why. I mean, this was never supposed to be anything permanent. I get that. I just thought we were good together, but as soon as I said that word together, you iced over."
I walked around the bed and took the shirt out of her hands. Placing it back into the dresser behind me, I looked at her and for the first time in my life, I told a woman the truth.
"Nothing you said bothered me. Well, not consciously anyway. I guess I'm just used to being single and deciding when things end."
Maddie hung her head and quietly said, "And you decided last night things were going to end. Fine. Just let me pack and I'll be out of your hair so you can go back to your single life and I can go back to mine. I'll have the driver take me to my house, and you'll never see me again."
Just the thought of her alone with that guy made my jealousy rear its ugly head once more. Grabbing her wrists, I held her so she couldn't move. "You're not going anywhere with him."
She looked down at where I clutched her arms in my hands and then looked up at me with confusion written all over her face. "Why do you care what I do? You just told me you're used to being single and deciding when things end. I get it. You decided it wasn't going to go any further last night. So why would it bother you that your driver is going to give me a ride home? Do you plan to have me walk all that way too, suitcases in hand like some poor refugee forced to leave her homeland?"
For a moment, I couldn't form the words to explain why everything she thought was so wrong. I hadn't decided things were over between us the night before. How I reacted had just been my normal way of dealing with women when I began to feel something for them.
But I didn't want that to be the way I dealt with Maddie. I couldn't explain it, but I didn't want to push her away like I had with everyone else.
"That isn't what I meant. I don't want this thing between us to be over. I'm sorry that the word together made my subconscious freak out. I'm just so used to pushing people away when they get close that I guess I did that to you too. But I don't want to push you away."
She didn't say anything for a long moment, and I wondered if any of my words had made a difference. Then she looked up at me and asked a valid question, even if it was an impossible question to answer.
"What are we doing, Eric? You have me working for you as some ridiculous dessert chef when you don't even seem to like sweet things much. In truth, you're paying me to have sex with you. I don't think I like that. I don't want to be some guy's concubine."
I blew the air out of my lungs slowly until there wasn't any left inside them and I had to answer her question. Not that I knew what to say. I didn't. But I had to at least try.
"I don't know. I never planned on any of this. I just wanted a maid to clean my house, to help Magda, but that DeVille guy convinced me I needed a cook more. Then he sent you here knowing you aren't a cook but could make desserts, which I don't really eat. All of that aside, I just know that from the minute I laid eyes on you, I couldn't imagine you not being mine. That's the honest to God truth. I wanted you from the second I met you, and I've never felt that for any women ever before. And you're not my concubine."
Maddie smiled, and I released my hold on her wrists. "That's the most I think I've heard you say since I met you, Eric."
"Sometimes I have things to say. Most of the time I don't, though. I don't want you to leave. I can't tell you what's going to happen, but I want you to stay here with me. You don't have to bake another thing for me. I'm fine if you just want to lay out in the sun all day, just as long as you're not hanging out with whoever that guy is who's driving while Clyde's out, okay?"
She cradled my face in her hands and kissed me. "His name's Antonio, and you don't have to worry. I don't want him. I want you. But I don't want to just be some leech who hangs out here all day. I wouldn't feel right about that, so I'm going to keep making sweets, and if you don't eat them, then I guess Magda and the rest of the staff are going to have treats for as long as I'm here. If you're okay with that, I'll stay."
I kissed her long and deep, loving the feel of her lips on mine and happier than I thought I could ever be at hearing her say she'd stay. I couldn't explain why after just a few days of having her around she meant so much to me, but I didn't care. All I knew was for the first time in my life, I felt something for a woman. More than the desire to just get between her legs and fuck her.
And whatever this was I felt, I didn't want it to end.