It wasn’t at the time. She said the words I never thought I’d hear, and I had to hold up my end of the bargain. I gave her that out the first night, and I would’ve bet everything I own that she’d never speak it. Not that she didn’t want to but because she was too damned stubborn for her own good.
I never imagined a fucking nightmare would make her end things, that it would be something in her head rather than the violence in mine that would be the final straw.
I underestimated the pain she’s lived with since childhood.
It’s so fucking stupid of me because I know the power that shit carries.
I scour the video feed for her return. I look into every alert. Even the half second movement ones, knowing it’s going to be a fucking bug or a bird because the alert would’ve been longer if it were her.
Each search is fruitless.
I left the house after cutting her loose because I knew I wouldn’t be able to watch her leave in person. She has no cell phone. I couldn’t follow her any further than the edge of my property.
She’s gone.
I think of the scars she’ll have, a constant reminder of our time together.
I think of her empty belly because I didn’t get the chance to fuck her after cutting her birth control implant from under her skin.
I don’t fucking know how I feel about it.
Knowing Lauren, she’d never go through with a pregnancy anyway. She wouldn’t want anything slowing down her destruction. Having to care for anyone else would contradict just how fucking selfish she is. It would never happen.
The thought of her killing my hypothetical baby makes me see red. It makes me want to track her down, which only makes me feel completely impotent, because I purposely let her leave without being able to find her.
If she wants to be here, she would’ve had to stay or will have to come back on her own.
I grin as I look over at my safe. I have insurance of course. I don’t trust that she won’t get herself killed before coming back, but I know she will.
Waiting for it to happen sucks. That’s why I scheduled a purchase in Tamaulipas for later this evening. I’ll go, get paid, and be back before midnight. With any luck, she’ll be waiting here for me when I return.
***
People don’t change overnight.
It’s very damn seldom that something happens and people see some light that makes them change their ways.
Habits are incredibly hard to break.
Someone on the outside looking in would probably be disgusted to see me sitting in my truck, waiting for the man to show up with my latest purchase.
After finding Lauren beaten and covered in cum, many would want to burn down the world and rid it of every evil person walking the planet.
I know myself enough to not even try.
Besides, dead people don’t pay. I found that out many times before El Salvador changed the way I looked at the world.
The goal is to step on people before they have the chance to step on you—oroveryou as my life experiences have dictated.
I’m not raiding a trafficking house. I’m not going to kill the man who delivers this woman to me. I’ll take her back to her boyfriend and the trafficker will go back to work.
Lauren would be so ashamed of me.
It’s a low-paying job, but I needed something to fill my time while I wait for my girl to come crawling back to me.
I ensure that the bundle of cash is in the inside pocket of my jacket as I see the car approach, and I scan the area to make sure I’m not about to get jumped. Getting robbed while buying this girl is just as probable as any other outcome. Sometimes this happens by other people in the same crew as the sellers, but this park is known for criminal activity and some fuckers are just opportunists.
No one approaches me as I stand by the decrepit picnic table I was instructed to stand by, but I keep my eyes moving from the car to the surrounding areas.