I bite down on his fingers as my inner muscles clench around his cock. His last few thrusts are relentless. His teeth scrape my shoulder through my shirt, as mine etch dents into his fingers.
He pulls me tightly to him, driving, burrowing. His cock throbs. I feel it go rigid inside me as his body tenses.
And he comes...and comes...and comes.
This is a dangerous game we’re playing, fucking without a condom. I could get pregnant. There’s a real possibility that I could already be pregnant.
A week ago, the thought of having a baby would’ve been absolutely terrifying. The thought of it scares me now, but not the way it used to. I think I could do it if I had a good, supportive man beside me. Someone nurturing and protective.
“I know what I want,” I whisper around his fingers. He withdraws them.
“What’s that, sweetheart?” he mumbles, his voice rough.
“You asked me to think about what I want for my future. I said I wanted a house. I know I want a play room for me, and a bedroom for Kenzie. But I think I might also want...a nursery.”
When he doesn’t respond right away, I assume I’ve either stunned him, or he’s fallen asleep.
Then I feel his lips on my neck, and his arms tighten around me.
“What does it look like?” he asks. “Paint me a picture with words.”
As I visualize and describe my dream baby’s dream nursery, there’s no doubt in my mind that this thing between us isn’t just about the things we do with our bodies.
I’m in love with Cal. I have been from the moment I sat in his lap the night of the party.
Before I knew his real name or where he lived, I knew he was a good man. I felt it instinctively, the same way I could tell he was the only good man in the room.
He brought me home and introduced me to parts of myself I didn’t know existed. Facets of my diamond heart that were too scuffed or tarnished to show themselves. He plucked me out of the darkness and held me up to the light, and I gleamed for him. I’m still glimmering…even now
“I am gonna do everything in my power to give you the life that you deserve, Holly,” he says. “I’m gonna catch the man who attacked your friend and end this nightmare for all of us. So we can start building a life together.”
“I want that so much,” I whisper.
He cradles my face, turning my head so he can kiss the corner of my lips. I want to tell him I love him, that I’ll always love him. But what if I say the words and he doesn’t say them back?
Cal’s been married and divorced. He lived a whole life before he met me. If I tell him I love him after knowing him less than a week, he’s going to think I’m immature. Impulsive. Childish, in a bad way.
No. I’ll keep the depth of my feelings a secret for now, and allow myself to dream of a future together. Free of fear and insecurity. Where there’s always food in the fridge and a warm bed to sleep in.
And a big, strong, loving daddy to hold me in his arms when I’m overwhelmed.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Caleb
The call comes in just before noon. A judge issued a warrant for us to search the Davis’ farm, and now I’ve got exactly twenty minutes to get dressed and get out the door.
“If all goes well, I might not be back till late tonight,” I tell Austin, taking the mug of black coffee he offers. “I’ll try to stay in touch.”
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll hold down the fort. I won’t let anything happen to your Holly.”
I shoot him a look.
“Don’t fuck around, Mr. Stone-cold Detective. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that you love that girl.”
I open my mouth to tell him off when I hear a creak on the old farmhouse’s stairs. McKenzie steps into the kitchen, looking like a shell of the girl I saw at King’s party last weekend.
“Are you going out to the barn where it happened?” McKenzie asks.
“I am,” I tell her.
She clasps her hands in front of her. “I want to go with you.”
“That’s not gonna happen.”
“But I can show you were it all went down.”
“You’ve already told us everything we need to know.” I risk placing a tentative hand on her shoulder. She flinches. I immediately pull away. She takes a breath, and meets my gaze.
“I need to see it in the daylight,” she says. “If I did miss something, being there might jog my memory.”
“I admire your spirit,” I tell her, “But you’re not up for this. Going to the crime scene will only set you back.”
Austin folds his arms across his chest. “I don’t know, man. Maybe it’s a good idea.”