“Nope,” she says.
“Whose are they?”
“Mine,” she says. “I snuggle them when I’m stressed."
I tuck the furry penguin under my chin. In the face of my mounting anxiety, it seems like such a small comfort. But I have to admit, I do feel a little better.
“It’s going to be okay,” Teagan says, rubbing my shoulder. “We’ll search again tomorrow, and the day after. However long it takes. McKenzie’s lucky to have a friend like you.”
I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “Joey’s lucky to have a mom like you. I can't believe you're only a year older than me. You seem so...grownup."
Teagan laughs like I’ve just made a joke.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
“It’s just... I never thought anyone would ever say that about me. Having a baby makes you grow up pretty fast, but I still feel like a kid most of the time. I grew up in foster care, too."
I gape at her with open shock. “Really?"
She nods. “I never imagined I’d have a husband or a baby. I had nothing when Jonah and I met. He took me in as a favor to his sister.”
I study her face for a long moment, amazed at how different, and yet similar, we turned out to be.
“You and McKenzie at least have each other,” she says. “I didn’t trust anyone until I met Jonah. He’s helped me work through a lot of my issues. I feel like he still helps me, every day.” She smooths her lips together, like she’s not sure if she wants to continue. “He helped me get in touch with my little side.”
I tilt my head. "Little side?"
"The part of me that likes coloring and collecting stuffed animals and...” She smiles shyly. “Other things.”
Heat fills my cheeks. I have a feeling I know exactly what she means by other things.
Teagan clears her throat. "Some people think it's strange, but—"
"I don't," I blurt. "I get it."
"I thought you might."
A knowing smile passes between us. It feels good to talk to someone who understands what it means to be little. Sometimes Kenzie and I watch the kids’ channel on TV while painting our nails, but it wasn’t until I found a playmate in Cal that I realized how much my little side desperately needed to come out.
Cal. I’ve been trying not to think about where he is or what he might be going up against today. I know the guys want to talk to the man who hosted last weekend’s party, but what if the host isn’t amenable?
“Have you heard from Jonah at all?” I ask.
Teagan shakes her head. “I’ve been thinking about the guys all day. Jonah didn’t tell me much about their plans.”
“Did he tell you why they needed to bring so many guns?”
“I know some were just supposed to be for show,” she says. “Jonah’s really responsible about his collection, but it still makes me nervous. That’s how he got his limp, you know.”
I had noticed Jonah walking with a slight limp. “What happened?”
“Cal told you they used to be partners, right?” she asks. I nod. “Jonah got shot on the job. I know it’s selfish to say, but I’m glad he’s not a cop anymore. I’d worry myself sick every time he walked out the door.”
I don’t want to imagine it, but I can’t stop the images from pouring into my head. Cal taking a bullet to the chest, dropping to the ground, blood soaking into his clothes. I crush the soft penguin to my breast and fight to turn my thoughts back toward Kenzie, toward the sliver of hope that once we find her, we’ll all be safe.
Burger whines at us from the back seat, his bushy tail thumping against the leather.
“I should find somewhere for him to pee,” Teagan says. “And we should probably head back soon. Can you think of one more place you want to try?”
I rub my eyes and struggle to think of where Kenzie would go if she had nothing but the clothes on her back. Before we found the motel, our options were limited. I doubt she’d go back to any of the guys she used to hook up with. I would’ve thought she’d return to the motel.
Then again, if she’s on the run, she’s probably doing everything she can to stay out of sight. That means staying hidden during the day and only venturing out at night.
Where could she hide out during the daytime?
An idea comes to me like a whisper.
“The mall,” I say. “The old abandoned mall.”
Teagan starts the Escalade. I give her directions to the mall where Kenzie and I used to stay when we had no other options. It doesn’t take long to get there, but the night seems determined to outrun us.
By the time we pull into the empty parking lot, the sky is officially dark. We hook Burger to his leash, then give him a chance to relieve himself on an overgrown bush.