“I ’spose I do know that Legend, but I was prepared to fight until the bitter end.”
“Ultimately, the men who wanted to rush your expiration date, could have done one of two things, Axel. Let the shit go, because something far more serious is at their doorstep and you’re no longer seen as a threat, or they up the ante. These weren’t the type of mothafuckas to let shit go. I can promise you that.” Smolder curled from both sides of his mouth. “They would’ve kept at you, picking and picking, until you were dead. They would have eventually caught you slippin’. It may not have been this year, next year, or even five years from now, but it would have happened, because now, your guard is down. You’ve fucked around and fell in love.” He smiled at him faintly.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“That makes us weak, man. Being in love with a woman weakens our defenses. Love makes us less cautious because we’re too busy tryna make a woman happy, put her on a pedestal, satisfy her in every way possible, so we can’t see the forest for the trees. We’re distracted.” He chuckled. “The sweet smell along her neck… the soft titties… the wet pussy… the round ass… the curves… the feminine voice… the nurturing… the tender kisses… the warm hugs… just her entire persona can ruin a mothafucka. She’s our rib, man. Ain’t no escaping that. You ever had a broken rib, man? That shit hurts! English, by no fault of her own, would have been your blessin’ and your downfall, if this continued. I like her, don’t get me wrong. It’s nothing personal. I think she’s good for you, but she has that power over you now. It’s hers for the taking.”
“This isn’t about her.”
“Yes it is, man. Women make us vulnerable. It starts with our mamas.” He held up one finger. “No matter how close we are to our fathers, our mothers have this strange hold over us, and you know it. Even if we hate that bitch who brought us into the world, we still love her on some level, and want her approval. It’s insane. Even killas who kill their own mothers, these psycho mothafuckas you see on these crime shows, wished that their mothers would have been different, man. Loved ’em harder…
“They always bring up their moms. Women make us feel shit that we ain’t ever felt before. They make us less hard. They manipulate us just with a glance. Pussy is our demise, and you need to own that fact, but nobody, including me, is willing to give it up. It’s a drug. These women in this world will make us open up and spill our guts. It’s not safe to be the hunter and the prey, man, when you’re in love.”
“You sound fuckin’ ridiculous, Legend. I don’t care who I’m with, I’d never let my guard down when I know some folks around me ain’t movin’ right. I didn’t before I met her, and I wouldn’t now.”
“Really?” Legend smiled real slick like, and laughed. “You let your guard down when you flushed our original plan to get rid of Master down the toilet, and let her come into the game to play. She was never supposed to be involved. You let your guard down when you buckled under the pressure, man, and told her what was up—something you’d never do. You gave her the blueprint to something she had no right to even build.”
“That’s bullshit! That wasn’t me letting my guard down. I was—”
“You were listening to your dick and your heart, instead of your brain. That’s what the fuck you were doing, all because you wanted her to feel okay about it.” He sucked his teeth. “This isn’t a judgment, chill man, it’s just the truth! You allowed her to play a role, a game, with a deranged mothafucka, knowin’ that if she didn’t pull that trigger right then and there, she’d be forced to witness you pump lead in him like it was for sport.” He pointed at his face. “I saw you, mothafucka… that look in your eyes, and your gun aimed right at the back of his head. One second of hesitation on her part, you would’ve wasted his ass. Both of us knew he wasn’t getting out of this alive. He’d crossed the line years ago. Why do you think I yelled for her to do it right then? To shoot him? I knew in my heart it would’ve been easier for her to kill that mothafucka than live with the knowledge that you did it for her. I knew you were strugglin’ with this shit, man. You didn’t want her to be like us! To end up with that on her conscience. She’s not from our world. Our way of life.”