“It was really nice what you told her. I know that it helped her. And…and I so appreciate yourdoing it.”
Still looking away, Decker said, “She’s just a kid. She shouldn’t have to go through this.”
“But if she does, it’s good that she has a friend like you.”
“And an aunt like you,” he replied.
He rubbed his head again, trying to smooth down the still sticking-up hair.
“You’re worried about something, I can tell,” she said. “It’s not thecase, is it?”
He shook his head.
“What is it, then?”
“At the institute in Chicago where I went after my brain injury, they told me a lot of things, but one of them stuck with me.”
“What was that?”
“They said that a damaged brain can keep changing. The initial reaction was the perfect recall and the synesthesia. But they said changes could happenagain, years down the road.”
“But it’s been over two decades and nothing has changed, right?”
“Until I got walloped in the head here.”
“But you said the memory blip hasn’t happened again. And how about the synesthesia?”
He looked at her. “When I shot Brian Collins I didn’t see electric blue like I normally do.”
“What color did you see?”
“I didn’t see any color. And I didn’t feel sick or claustrophobic. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it does mean that something has changed in my head. And that’s, well, it’s a little unnerving.”
“I could see that. So maybe the injury to your head did do something. But your synesthesia might come back.”
“Part of me doesn’t want it to come back. But—”
“Butyou’re afraid that other things will change about you?”
He looked directly at her now. “I already became somebody else, Alex. I don’t want to go through that again. Because I don’t know who I might become next.” He added with an embarrassed smile, “And let’s face it, that person might not be as likable as me.”