It was beautiful.
And I felt nothing.
Mikhail brought us straight to the edge and bent down to take off my sandals. He held them by the straps with his fingers and pulled me in closer until my feet touched the water.
I ignored the sting on my arm.
The wound that Luca had caused when he cut me open to insert the bomb was still pretty new. Still pretty painful.
I reveled in the pain.
I didn’t say anything as I looked at the ocean, my eyes burning.
“I know you miss him,kotyonok.We all do. But I need you to stay strong for me for a little longer while we work to get him back. And once he’s safely back with us, then you can fall apart, okay? Can you do that for me?”
He tightened his hand around mine marginally. I could feel the weight of his stare on me, though I didn’t look back at him.
I’d jump off a cliff if he asked me to.
There was very little I wouldn't do for these three men, I realized, even Nikolay, as angry as I was toward him for zip-tying me.
I didn’t look at him when I nodded.
I wouldn’t fall apart until we got Damien back.
I would be strong.
* * *
We returnedto the house when the ocean chill hit, because Mikhail didn’t want me to get sick.
I didn’t really take it in before we arrived, mostly because I was still feeling numb over everything, but this house was no different from Gabriel’s house, and no different from Father—Angelo Agnello’shouse.
I had to stop thinking of that man as my father.
I had been wondering since I found out if he had known it all along.
He hated my mom, and he hated that she cheated on him, so perhaps he had been taking out his anger on me for the last twenty-two years. Maybe that was a better,prettierexplanation than that a father just didn’t love his daughter.
My hand moved to my chest, trying to rub away the ache that had taken residence there, as Mikhail brought me to what looked like a den.
I walked up to the comfortable-looking couch and sat down, looking at my lap.
“Are you thirsty,kotyonok? I could make us some tea?”
I didn’t feel like eating or drinking anything, but I knew Mikhail was looking for ways to stay busy. His usually bright blue eyes were more subdued, and his blond hair was sticking up all over the place, as if he had spent the entire day running his fingers through it.
He was stressed, and I didn’t want to add any more to it.
I nodded. When he smiled at me, I could feel a small pressure lifting from my chest.
He leaned down and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, taking in the feel of his touch.
I always needed him, and during a time like this, when my world felt like it was crumbling around me, I craved him desperately.
I listened to his footsteps as he walked away until finally, I couldn’t hear him anymore.
But it didn’t take long for another set of footsteps to come toward me.