I'm not doing a great job distracting myself. But why distract myself? I'm not a man. I can't blow my load early. And I'm not here for me, either.
I doubt Patrick will let that stand, but I'm not scared about that either. I don't know why, but I trust him here. I want more here.
The bartender delivers our drinks. Patrick closes the tab. I consider offering to pay, but I'm too slow. Besides, my parents taught me not to argue with men or elders who offered to pay.
Which feels weird, especially as an adult woman. When I let men pay, they get ideas about what that means. They think it entitles them to my body. But, hey, I'm the one using his body for my satisfaction. Sorta.
The point is, we're enjoying each other's bodies.
What's it matter who pays for our gin and tonics if we both enjoy ourselves?
As long as it feels fair.
"I'll get the next round," I say.
"You want two rounds?" he asks.
"Next time," I say.
"The ones at the party?" he teases.
"I brought tonic water," I say.
"You're sweet."
"No. I want the tonic water I like."
He laughs. "Sweet. And strategic."
The balcony is around the corner, past a B-list celebrity and their entourage and two men in suits sipping brown liquor.
"Do you think they're lost?" I ask.
"Visiting from New York, maybe." He glances at the guys again. "Or agents."
"For actors?"
"Or entertainment lawyers, maybe. That's what Molly does."
"Your sister?"
"Oldest sister, yeah. She said we were here to celebrate her engagement, but when her fiancée went to the bathroom, she started lecturing me on my career path." He laughs. "She wanted to make sure I wasn't apprenticing just as a rebellion against our parents."
"What did they want you to do?"
"Anything stable," he says. "Yours the same?"
"More or less," I say. "They want better than what they had, even though they're really successful. Only they don't really get psychology or economics. It's too theoretical. Not practical enough. I think they'd prefer if I was getting a degree in accounting."
"Have you tried it?"
"A little. I ran their books in high school. I can do the basics, but I can't do anything more sophisticated."
"There's sophisticated accounting?"
"There are all sorts. But I didn't get very far. It was too dry. I like the space in psychology, the complexity of the mind, the surprises. Human beings believe they're logical, but they're really not. We're more animal than we want to admit."
"Oh?" He raises a brow.