"Maybe next time."
"Next time?"
"Unless you don't want me to come over again."
"I do."
"Good. I don't know about every Sunday night, but I do… I do like this," she says. "And the chai is almost done."
Right on cue, the timer beeps.
She turns off the stovetop. "We can let it cool. Strain it after."
"After is good." I carry her to the bedroom.
ChapterFourteen
IMOGEN
The sex is fantastic. It really is.
For the entire drive to my place, and the walk to campus, I'm completely lost in lust. I miss the first half of the lecture, use my laps to imagine all the things I want to do with Patrick, text Julie on the walk home.
Again, I don't offer any explicit details. But I let her know I'm having fun and I respect her desire to have fun, so long as she talks to me and lets me warn her off bad guys.
She rolls her eyes (I can see it, even in text) but she agrees. I almost text Patrick athanksorhow about another round, tonight?But I resist the temptation.
Yes, I want to mount him again. I want to try all sorts of things with him. But one day at a time.
It's too easy to get mixed up, to make sex into something else. And he's the kind of guy who likes to keep things easy.
He's not going to want to dive into my fucked-up head. It's not exactly great pillow talk.Hey, did you realize I got this tattoo to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my suicide attempt? To celebrate being here, and being alive yes, but to celebrate the attempt too. Yeah, that's fucked up, isn't it?
I mean, it was a promise to myself—
And I'm going to do a wrist tattoo next, to promise my forearms I'll never try that method (not that I could handle it. There's a reason I'm not studying medicine). But, hey, sometimes it's whatever's handy.
Yeah.
That's really hot.
I put my cell away as I step inside.
Jade is in the kitchen, fixing a grilled cheese sandwich (the extent of her cooking skills) and dancing to cheesy pop music. She loves cheesy pop music, not that she'd ever admit it.
She turns to me with a blush, caught. "Hey." She grabs her cell and turns the music off.
"You can keep it." The over-the-top cheer is grating, but I need it right now. I need to push my other thoughts away. At least, while we're both here, in the main room. Jade and I are roommates, not confidants. I don't have confidants, sure, but I'm happy to keep spilling my guts to strangers.
"I wasn't feeling it," she says.
"Uh-huh."
"You want a sandwich?"
"You don't have to bribe me. I won't tell anyone you love ABBA."
"I listen ironically," she says.