Page 219 of The Hookup Experiment

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But that's bullshit.

Yeah, my sister didn't share with me. But she didn't owe me that. And, even if she did, there's no spying karma.

Once I knew who she was—

It was wrong to keep reading.

And, yes, I did it because I needed it, because I craved it, because I loved it.

Because I loved her.

But that doesn't make it okay.

I didn't want to apologize because I can't apologize for falling in love with her here.

I can't apologize for craving her words.

But that isn't where I went wrong.

I knew I needed to tell her.

I knew she was pulling away, and I knew I needed to do the hard thing and talk to her in person.

I knew honesty and vulnerability were a two-way street. It wasn't fair to pull back at the first sign of resistance.

It was bullshit, like my friend said, and worse, because I knew it was bullshit.

I still wrestle with it. I know it's not right, but I still thinkdon't I deserve to know?

Don't I deserve this insight, after everything?

I want it, every one of her thoughts.

I'm terrified.

I can't lose her too.

And I know control isn't love. But it didn't feel like control. It felt like some kind of hack. Maybe it was. But, whatever happens, I have to let go too.

I have to find the bravery she has.

How the fuck do I do that?

ChapterFifty

IMOGEN

Ispend the night in my old room. I read over my old journals, the paper ones I locked in my desk, the ones I kept on Word Docs, the entry on Hearts and Thorns.

And then everything he's left for me.

Finally, after my third read through, I turn on my phone.

And I reply to his text.

Imogen: I can come over tonight.

Patrick: Is 10 too late? I have work.


Tags: Crystal Kaswell Romance