Chapter 1
“Seamus,fivemoreminutes,bud. Please, let mommy sleep,” I grumble under a pillow as my bed tries to lull me back to sleep. I feel a cold nose press against my arm and the softest whines escape his mouth. I growl at him, and he huffs in response. “Fine, I’ll get up, but not for you, you little fucker.” I toss the pillow off my head, only to be greeted by a furry bubble butt in my face.
Seamus, my black and white Welsh Corgi lays his head on my chest. He’s lucky he’s so cute. I sigh; I have to get up for this party, or else I’ll be late.
Seriously, whoever thought a biker bar named the Devil’s Whiskey was a fantastic place to host a kid’s birthday party is insane. Unfortunately, Allie means I have to go. Truly, I’m okay being an auntie. I said it while I waited for Prince Charming to whisk me away, but he’s either lost or dead at this point.
It’s Saturday afternoon, and I convince myself to get up and get dressed. For the first time in a while, I’m not working on a Saturday. I’ve been helping my agency open a new building, a new shelter and our services building all in one place. I’ve been working with Lighthouse Foundation for six years, and I’ve been eager to make a difference in this community. I’ve been working hard to bring resources to the homeless and vulnerable, but sometimes, a girl just needs a Saturday to herself.
Swinging my legs off the bed, I start to debate my life choices. What do you wear to a kid’s party at a biker bar? Throwing caution to the wind, I pick out my favorite ripped jeans, the ones that hug the curve of my thick thighs, and an old band t-shirt. I debate pulling out my old red leather jacket. Is that too on the nose? Shrugging, I decide against it and throw it aside..
Seamus cocks his head from his bed. “I don’t need your judgment, sir,” I smirk at him before turning down the hall to my bathroom. My little house is small, but perfect. It may not be much, but it’s enough for me, a place that feels like home and not borrowed
I run to the shower, to actually shower with the works. You know, with shampoo and conditioner, sugar scrub, shaving. From sasquatch to princess in under 30. Now that I’m clean and looking like a human being again, I rush to grab my clothes.
I glance at the clock; I need to be out the door ASAP if I plan to be on the other side of Raleigh on time. Do I dry my hair or do my makeup? Decisions, decisions. I take a deep breath and decide on the makeup. Anything to look more human, right?
“Alexa, play “Gemini”playlist.” Music surrounds me as I dust my makeup on, choosing an olive green shadow to complement my brown eyes.
I look at the clock and groan – I’m going to be late. I’ve always tried to be on time, but sometimes luck isn’t on my side. I let Seamus out and then grab my backpack and keys, along with Allie’s birthday gift.Thank you, Amazon. I bought her a little preschool art set. Michelle and Matthew might hate me for it, but I’ll live. Telling Seamus bye, I go back to get my jacket and lock up. Red leather is always the way to go.
Today is Allie’s fourth birthday and I promised Matthew and Michelle that I would make it. I've been busy lately, so this time, my presence is important to them. I’ve known them since I moved to Raleigh from Richmond six years ago. Matthew belongs to a motorcycle club, so this biker bar isn’t too far fetched. I joke with him about being part of the Sons of Anarchy, but all I get is an eyebrow raise.
Towards the outskirts of town, I find the Devil’s Whiskey. The parking lot is filled with bikes and decked out lifted trucks that scream country boys and compensation. From the outside, it looks like a typical restaurant, but I can hear the loud bass of heavy rock music. I smell whiskey, cigarette smoke, and barbecue; a.k.a., heaven. I walk in with Allie’s gift in one hand and my small pocket knife in my front pocket, and all eyes turn to me. Did I leave my zipper down or something?
Peeking through my Ray Bans, I ask the nearest person where I can find the kid’s party. With a grunt, he points to the back, meaning the outside seating area where the smell of the barbecue is likely wafting in from. I trail my hand on the empty, worn down bar stools as I make my way to the back. I wonder what stories they could tell. The wall behind the bar is full of liquor, and I hear the whisper of a Jack and coke calling my name. I pass tables with grown men and women who look like they could do some damage. Cigarette smoke fills the room, the sound of billiard balls cracking and the snap of pool sticks against them sounding in my ears. It might be mid-morning outside, but there’s no sunshine in this place.
I quickly make my way to the back, the Encanto soundtrack a stark contrast to the music inside. I push through the glass doors and find my friends. Matthew is at the smoker, Michelle fixing Allie’s hair, a dozen kids playing with bubbles, trampolines, and inflatable slides. I wave at Matthew, who’s holding a beer while chatting with my friend Seth, who’s at a table with his kids, Ellie and Jordan. This was my family away from family.
I finished school in Richmond six years ago, and Virginia didn’t have much hold over me anymore. Dad retired from the police force, and he and mom are enjoying retirement in Williamsburg. I’ve been meaning to see them, but with the new building on the horizon, it’s been hard to get away.
When I moved to North Carolina, I didn’t know anyone, unless you count my cousin Brittany, who lives next door. I met Matthew and Michelle at church, and they took me in like I was family, introducing me to Seth shortly after. Seth’s a single dad, raising his teenage son and young daughter. He jokes that his daughter, Ellie, loves me more than him. I truly believe it.
I grab Michelle in a tight hug, only to be broken apart when Allie pushes between us. “Sasa, up please,” she begs. I release Michelle and swoop Allie up in a bear hug. Sasa is her way of saying Tessa, and I love it.
“Happy Birthday, Allie-cat! Have you been having fun?” I squeeze her tight, wishing she would stay small forever.
“Sasa, come jump,” she says, bouncing in my arms.
“Oh Allie, I don’t think Sasa wants to jump. She’s too big for the trampoline,” Michelle says softly. Allie’s face morphs into a puppy dog pout, the one I taught her.
“How about this, Allie-cat? What if I try and if I think I’m too big, I’ll stop. Remember, we sometimes need to try something first before we say no,” I say as I set her down and she takes off running to one of the trampolines.
“You don’t always have to say yes to her, Tessa. By the way, you're late,” Michelle starts as Matthew interrupts with a snort.
“Are you surprised? She’ll be late to her own funeral. You could tell her the building is on fire and she’ll sayyeah, just give me a few minutes,” Matthew finishes as he checks the smoker.
“Yeah, but you would die of a heart attack if I actually showed up on time,” I say, punching Matthew’s arm.
The outside of the bar is adorable; it’s definitely an interesting dichotomy to the rest of it. There’s an outside bar, picnic tables, yard games, and a small fire pit. Add the bubbles, toys, and trampolines, and it’s heaven compared to the hell inside.
As I walk to where Allie is jumping and laughing, I notice a pair of eyes looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I can’t help but stare back. There is something hypnotic about them, a grayish tint that gleams when the sun hits them knocks the breath out of you. With a shiver, I shake my head –stop being a creeper Tessa.
“Sasa, come on. Jump!” Allie calls out to me, grabbing my attention. I take off my boots and attempt to step onto the trampoline.
Okay, maybe Iamtoo big for this. Having big boobs and thick thighs donothelp, that’s for sure.
Allie grabs my hand to help me jump, but I’m cautious not to send the kid into the parking lot. Probably the wrong day to wear one of my balconette bras. I knew I should have gone for the sports bra this morning.