The thought of hurting her accidently was the only thing that kept me in check.
I don’t think I’ll fare better the next time I’m around her. Which is why I’ve been watching from a distance.
Every once in a while, she has looked out the windows as if she could feel me looking. My heart hasn’t stopped pounding at the thought that she can.
When Gunnar stopped by earlier and delivered a sign, I saw red. He was too close to her. The need to protect, to possess, to defend, was so damn strong, I don’t know how I managed to keep my distance.
Thankfully, he was only there for a few moments, just long enough to drop off the sign. Had it been even a minute longer, I would have been overtaken and killed him. Not that killing an orc would be easy, but I would have given it my best damn try.
When Dakota leaves Paws Up, I follow her home and watch as she opens the door to the house she’s living in and breathe a sigh of relief. I know she’s alone in there, I would smell it if she wasn’t. She’s safe for the night.
I marked my territory around her house earlier and no one in town will cross the line. I’m sure of it. I don’t understand why I did it, but I had to. My feral thoughts were pounding in my head and didn’t let up until I was sure she’d be safe the moment she stepped back inside the house.
The pull between us is still there and it’s taking everything in me to not go up to her door and knock, but I need some answers. I need to understand what is happening. I don’t know if Karloff will know anything, but he’s the only person I can think of who might.
I run through the woods to get to his cottage since I didn’t bother with my Jeep today. It would have made my stalking more obvious, and I can move faster this way. The faster I run and the farther I get from Dakota, the more my gut twists with how wrong it is.
The only thing keeping me sane is the cool, fresh air. I take deep breaths, her enticing scent twirling around me and reminding me I should be somewhere else. I’m not sure how I’m able to keep my feet from turning around, but I manage, needing to do this.
When I get to Karloff’s cottage, I bang on the door. It’s not too late considering the sun is just starting to set. When I look up at the sky, I can’t help but wonder if Dakota would like to watch the colors play in the sky and then fade into night. Since Screaming Woods is such as small town, there isn’t much light pollution and makes the stars shine brightly. Watching the stars calms me and reminds me I’m small in the grand scheme of things.
It’s oddly comforting.
It does make me feel a little insignificant, but I welcome that feeling since the change. My problems and concerns aren’t nearly as big as the universe, and everything contained within it. I’m but a spec in all of it, wolfman or not.
When Karloff opens the door, his eyes are wide and round. I’m not surprised considering I tend to avoid the man even though he’s become a hermit since the night of the party. I know he didn’t mean to change people, but the end result is pretty fucking hard to ignore, and I’ve been pissed about it.
“Jace,” his voice wobbles slightly, “what are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you about something. I’m not sure if you can give me answers, but I’m not sure where else to go,” I admit truthfully.
There’s a wariness in his gaze along with a little bit of hope. It’s both been easy to shun him and difficult not to keep in touch. I grew up in Screaming Woods and Dr. Karloff has been around as long as I can remember as a fixture of the community. It’s small enough here that we all grew up knowing everyone.
It wasn’t just the humans and myself I lost that night, but I lost him as well. He was that eccentric grandpa to so many of us and I’m no exception.
Today, to try and figure out what the hell is going on, I can put the past aside. It’s not going to change, no matter how many times I’ve heard rumors about him trying to find a way to reverse the effects of his punch. I’m not going to hold my breath at this point.
That doesn’t mean I’m any closer to accepting or embracing who I am.
“Of course,” he takes a deep breath and takes a step back, motioning me to enter. “Please, come in.”
When I enter his cottage, I realize not much has changed out here. I guess there is a little bit of comfort in something remaining the same when it feels like so much is different.
I follow him and have a seat, the chair groaning under my bulk. It’s not exactly comfortable, but not much is considering my size. Let’s hope it doesn’t come crashing down underneath me.
His voice is curious, “How can I help you, Jace?”
I scrub a hand down my face, careful of my claws. Always careful of the claws. The thought of hurting Dakota with them on accident has me growling deep in my chest. Karloff looks up at me in surprise and the scent of his fear fills the space around me.
“Sorry,” I mumble. “I’m not here to hurt you, Dr. Karloff.” I figure manners never hurt anyone, though I haven’t needed to use mine recently. “I came here because something has happened?”
His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, his words measured, “Something has happened? In relationship to your,” he pauses and swallows hard, knowing it’s a sore spot for me, “transformation.”
“I’m not sure if it is or not,” I grit the words out, trying and almost failing at putting aside my anger.
Nothing is going to change the past. Deal with it.
Right. Okay. So damn easy.