Her eyes flash with anger, but it’s not at me, it’s on my behalf, before she whispers, “You’re not a monster."
I close the distance between us and pull her against my chest. The touch of her skin soothes some of my worry. I wonder if I do the same for her. I hope so.
“I am and since I was turned it’s been almost impossible for me to accept this life and the way I am now. Then,” I take a deep breath, letting her scent calm and ground me, “I caught your scent, and something clicked into place, the same way it did when I bit you.”
“The pull,” she murmurs absently, snuggling into me without even realizing it.
“The pull. Our bond? I’m not sure what to call it, but that word feels right just like it feels right to call you my mate.” I bury my face in her neck and breathe deeply, not even caring that we probably look ridiculous considering our height difference. “I’m sorry,” I whisper against her skin.
“I know.” She sighs, her arms coming around my waist slowly. “I can feel your regret.”
“I can feel your confusion,” I confess.
She chuckles, but it’s not really a happy sound and my heart shatters. She pulls back from me and looks up into my eyes. I could get lost in the ice blue sea of her eyes; I desperately want to.
“I just need some time to process all of this.” Her eyes turn worried with a hint of pain. “Can I have some time?”
I kiss her forehead, hating what I’m about to do, but knowing it’s the right thing.
“Of course,” I mumble against her skin.
I want more from her, I want it all. I want to demand it. Take it.
But I don’t. Instead, I gather up my clothes, give her a long look full of longing and then I walk away. The tether between us stretches, but it doesn’t break. I’ll have to find some sort of solace in that.
I’ll give my mate whatever she needs. If she needs some time, then so be it. I just hope it’s not too much because with every step the ache in my chest grows. I need her and I have a feeling she needs me just as much.
CHAPTER 6
DAKOTA
It’s been almost a week since the night Jace showed up at my place and…all of that went down. I’m still not sure if I know how to process it all. There is part of me willing to jump into this thing with him, but another part of me needs to be cautious.
I hate to admit it, but my past is coloring my future. It’s something I promised myself I wouldn’t do, but I’m not sure how to stop it at this point. I hate how Macneal still has power over me.
I want happiness.
There was a moment with Jace when I felt truly whole. It was the first time in my life I felt that way. Then reality set in.
He bit me. Then there’s his knot.
I’m not going to say it was a horrible experience because it wasn’t. It felt good. Great even.
It’s also not normal and while I don’t normally care what people think of me, I can’t help but wonder if something is wrong with me because of how much I enjoyed it.
I don’t have anyone to talk to about it either. I was going to talk to Hadley about it, but I couldn’t do it. Instead, we talked all about the ranch and the two sexy, former military cowboys who want her. Even if I didn’t confess, knowing she’s in an unconventional relationship, at least to most people, helped me a little.
I’m not sure some good ménage action and getting off on my wolfman’s knot is the same thing.
Things are coming along at Paws Up and I’ve been able to let myself get lost in the work I’m doing. Who knew painting could be meditative? I had no idea, but now that I’ve done it, including coats of primer and then color, I’m a believer.
Even though I’ve been keeping busy and haven’t seen Jace, I know he’s watching me. It’s not all the time, but it’s enough of it for me to have figured out he’s not going to go anywhere anytime soon. Honestly, it’s been oddly comforting.
It’s the hardest at night when I know he’s not out there watching me. That is when a crushing loneliness seeps into the recesses of my being. It’s a feeling I can’t shake, and it makes me feel like I’m gasping for air while drowning.
I don’t know what is causing it. Maybe it’s whatever binds me to Jace since we haven’t been together.
Then there are moments when the place he bit me, my mark, burns. It’s not painful, but it ignites something in me I can’t explain. It’s almost like it’s telling me to go to him.