Emma disappeared, returned with her tablet. She gave Jo asmile and then sat back down on the couch, her focus entirely on her work.
She was used to it by now, Jo supposed. It wasn’t often that Jo asked Emma to work in her office—only when things got incredibly frustrating, when Jo lost the thread of plot or couldn’t get the right tone of dialogue. That was where she was at the moment, brain too busy to figure out the last-minute edits to the finale script. She had thought she was done with it, but there was this one scene that didn’t quite work, and she hadn’t been able to fix it.
Jo wasn’t sure what it was, exactly, about Emma in her office that helped her. She thought perhaps it was Emma’s sturdiness. Emma was steadfast. To have Emma there, silently accomplishing things—it made Jo’s troubles seem irrelevant. There were no excuses. Just do the work.
And Jo did.
—
The GLAAD Media Awardsin early April were Jo’s first public event since the SAGs. She wouldn’t be bringing Emma, obviously. She considered getting Evelyn to fly out from New York, but then Jo would be labeled a lesbiananda slut, probably, so it wouldn’t have been the best choice.
The GLAADs weren’t as bad as other awards shows. They weren’t considered as prestigious, which helped, Jo thought. Made them more bearable. But it was more than that—being in a room with so many young, open,proudpeople, it made Jo’s heart ache a little, in a good way. She still wasn’t publicly out—no matter what gossip magazines said about Emma and her. She wrote queer people into her shows and she let people speculate, but, as her publicist kept reminding everyone, she had never commented on herlove life. She’d considered it once, when she was nineteen. She came out to her parents first.
Her mom told her to think of her career. Her father told her they were never going to speak of it again.
And so she hadn’t, not really. She was, for the most part, okay with that. But then she went to the GLAAD awards and saw young women holding hands, and her heart ached.
Regardless, she’d be going alone.
Except for the rumors, the SAGs were the best awards show Jo had been to in years. Prep went smoothly, they arrived late enough that she skipped interviews, and the food was delicious. Emma hadn’t simply been a buffer—she had been entertaining in and of herself. And Jo hadn’t ended the evening exhausted and longing for sleep; she’d ended it smiling as they dropped Emma off at her apartment building.
Jo wanted the GLAADs to be similar, wanted to enjoy them. But everything reminded her of the SAGs. As Kelli and Mai put her together, as she walked the red carpet, Jo thought of Emma. It didn’t help that both her prep team in the suite and the photographers at the event kept asking after Jo’s “girlfriend.”
She tried to let it roll off her, tried to keep a smile on her face. With no buffer, she had to talk to anyone who came by, but it was fine—it was; she swore the GLAADs were better than other ceremonies. Tonight they simply took more mental energy than she had.
And then, when Jo was almost at her breaking point, when she wanted to go home,Innocentswon for Outstanding Drama Series, and she had a speech to give.
The whole cast came onstage with her. Jo accepted the award and stepped up to the microphone, everyone still hugging behind her.
She had a speech planned. They’d won this three years running now; she came prepared. She had a list of people to thank.
She didn’t.
“This is my favorite awards show,” she said instead. “This is the award I will always be proudest to win. I write fiction, but these are real stories. These are important stories.”
These are our stories, she thought but did not say as people applauded. This wasn’t about her, not really.
“There are plenty of people who work on our show who I could thank, but I want to thankyou,” Jo said. “Thank all of you, for being so strong in the face of a world that sometimes seems like it would rather you not exist. Thank you for being proud in the face of people who think you should be ashamed. Thank you for being here, in this world. For surviving. You are an inspiration.”
Everyone congratulated her again as they left the stage together, hugs and high fives and big grins. Jo wished Emma were there.
5
EMMA
Congratulations on the win,” Emma said as she handed Jo her coffee the Monday following the GLAADs.
“Thanks,” Jo said. “Is everything on track for Friday?”
Emma had never seen Jo do anything with a compliment except brush it off. She followed Jo into her office.
“Everything is set for Friday, yes,” Emma said. “Except for the last-minute RSVPs who I am going to make grovel before telling them they can still come.”
That got Jo to smirk slightly as she sat at her desk and opened her laptop.
“Would you like to see a list of songs for karaoke?” Emma asked. “So you can practice in advance?”
Jo chuckled. “Good try.”