“I shouldn’t stay,” she said instead. “Thisisa bad idea, you know? We have to do everything right with how we frame it, or it’s going to be a disaster. It’s probably going to be a disaster anyway, coming after the rumors.”
“Hey,” Emma said. She dropped a hand down to catch one of Jo’s. “We’re not going to be a disaster.”
Jo smiled up at her, all soft and beautiful. “No,” she said. “We’re not.”
God, it was surreal. To be holding Jo and talking like this, like they were awe.
Jo did stay, for a while. They sat next to each other on the couch and talked about things, their drinks sitting forgotten. Jo admitted she’d had feelings since her father’s visit; Emma admitted she wasn’t sure hers mattered until Calgary. Jo asked four separate times if Emma was sure, if she knew her promotion had nothing to do with Jo’s feelings, if she really wanted to do this.
Emma said, “More than anything,” and all the tension bled out of Jo’s posture.
They did agree Jo shouldn’t stay. They didn’t want to be in the tabloids again, and she’d already had to pay off one photographer.Emma kissed Jo one last time within the safety of her apartment before sending her on her way.
Once Jo was gone, Emma raced down her hallway and hurled herself onto her bed. She lay spread-eagle, staring at the ceiling, a grin on her face she couldn’t get rid of if she tried.
But she didn’t have to get rid of it. She could smile as much as she wanted because Jolikedher. Emma’s whole body twinkled. She thought about calling Avery back, but didn’t. This was just hers for the moment. Emma wondered if Jo’s heart felt as fluttery as hers did right now.
—
The thing about kissingJo the last week of work before hiatus was that now it was hiatus. Now they had four weeks off work. Now Emma didn’t have an excuse to see Jo every day.
She got up early on Saturday and went to services. She called her mother after, endured some questions about Jo, and discussed their plans for the first night of Hanukkah. Avery was hosting, as usual, and Emma couldn’t wait for all the food. She’d feel bad that her favorite part of most holidays was the food, but her sister loved making it as much as Emma loved eating it.
Emma lasted until about four in the afternoon before her palms itched so much she picked up her phone. It had been less than twenty-four hours since she’d last seen Jo, and yet she had thisneedto talk to her, text her, something.
Is it uncool to miss you already?
As soon as Emma sent it, she decidedyes, it wasincrediblyuncool, and Jo would probably think she was an idiot. Instead, her phone rang.
She stopped herself from picking up immediately. Took a breath and brushed her hand over her shirt like there were wrinkles she needed to smooth out. Answered the phone.
“Hey,” she said quietly.
“I don’t think it’s uncool,” Jo said.
Emma released her breath, smiled. “No?”
“Or if it is, I’m uncool, too, I guess.”
Was smiling into the phone in silence for a good ten seconds uncool? Because that was what Emma did next.
“How was your day?” Jo asked eventually.
“Good,” Emma said. “Nothing special. You?”
“Nothing special,” Jo parroted. “I feel ridiculous, how much I want to see you.”
Emma felt like her chest burst open.
“It’s not ridiculous,” she said.
“It is,” Jo said. “It’s Saturday. It’s not like we would normally see each other on a Saturday.”
“We did last Saturday, though.”
Calgary was only a week ago. The flight and the drive home and the kiss in front of Emma’s apartment. Emma felt warm all over.
“We have to be able to go more than twenty-four hours without seeing each other,” Jo said. “We have to go this whole hiatus.”