Clara moved back to her seat. “He… He said that?”
“He did.” Andrew missed her soothing touch.
Clara dabbed at her eyes. Andrew glanced away, trying to maintain his composure to get the rest out. He threaded his fingers together and stared at them. If he looked at her—if he saw her tears—he would most certainly lose it.
He cleared his throat. “When I went home for the funeral, I… I was surprised by the tremendous outpouring of respect and love from the community. These were people I’d never met, and yet they knew my father. They had fun stories about him, and I started to see my father in a different light, as a man who loved life and enjoyed spending time with others.”
Clara nodded. “Your father was certainly an easy man to like. I’m so sorry I missed the funeral.”
“That’s my fault.” Andrew chanced a glance at her. “I thought about calling you, but I figured you wouldn’t want to hear from me after, well, after what happened.”
“You should have called. I would have come. I’m so sorry you didn’t think you could reach out to me, that you thought I’d turn you away.”
That was exactly what he’d thought or worse, that she’d come out of pity and duty. He hadn’t wanted to put her through any more pain. But in the end, he now realized, he’d hurt her more by not giving her a chance to say goodbye to his father. “I really made a mess of things. It’s I who should be apologizing. My father would have wanted you there. He always admired you and thought that we—well, it doesn’t matter now.”
“And this is why you reached out to your brother?”
“Not exactly. It appears I needed a couple of more lessons. Big lessons to get my head screwed on straight.”
This time Clara didn’t say a word. She sat there, patiently waiting for him to tell her the rest.
“While I was taking care of my father’s estate and closing up the house, I had one of the biggest shocks of my life. I learned my father was rich—”
“What? But how?”
“One of his lottery tickets had won the jackpot. And yet he never said a word. In fact, he continued to work every day, going to the convenience store and putting in his hours as though he still needed the job to survive.”
“And he never told you about the money?”
Andrew shook his head. “I wonder if he felt he needed the job because it provided him with a chance to communicate with his friends, the only family he had besides me. And as you know, I wasn’t around much.”
“He wouldn’t have known what to do with himself at home alone all day.”
“I was thinking about that when I had my accident.”
Her eyes shimmered with sympathy. “You haven’t had an easy time of it.”
He glanced away, focusing on the big picture window and the cars going up the street. “When I woke up in the hospital, I had to face some stark facts, more painful than my injuries. I was alone. Totally alone in life. I… I’d driven away the only people left in this world who’d once cared about me.”
This time she reached out with both hands, cupping his hands in her own. “I’m so sorry you felt as though you were that alone. But you don’t have to feel that way anymore. I’m here for you.”
“I had a lot of time lying in that hospital bed to think about the decisions I’d made. First, turning away my brother when he called to tell me that our mother died. I kept thinking her death didn’t matter to me. She was the one who left, not me. And my brother, well, I was angry with him. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I just couldn’t deal with him at the time.”
He waited for Clara to say something, but she didn’t. Nor did she pull her hands away. She simply waited for him to gather his thoughts and continue.
“I guess growing up and coming way too close to dying gives a person clarity. I was angry at my brother for something that was totally out of his control—the fact that my mother raised him after abandoning me. She’s the one I should have been upset with, not him.” He turned in his chair so he could look directly at Clara. “It took me losing most of my family before I realized how much they matter. Promise me you won’t do the same thing with yours.”
This time she did pull away. “Is that what you think I’m doing, pushing them away?”
He shrugged, letting her draw her own conclusion. “And then there’s you. Back then I was a fool for thinking you’d drop everything to support my career. I was so self-centered that I didn’t realize how unhappy I’d made you.”
“You weren’t alone in that manner. I was stubborn, too.”
“I don’t want to start a blame game. I just want to tell you I’m sorry it took me until now to realize how much I hurt you, making you choose between me and your career. At the time, I couldn’t understand why you were making such a big deal about your job when you had a trust fund to fall back on.”
For a moment, Clara didn’t speak. She didn’t look at him. In fact, she didn’t move at all. This was what he was afraid of. That opening up old wounds would bring up the pain and resentment.
Andrew cleared his throat. “I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that when I was lying in that hospital bed, I promised myself that if I ever got out of there, I would make amends with you and my brother. And tell you both just how sorry I am.”