“This thing with Ryan—is it serious?” Jake asked carefully.
I swallowed over the lump in my throat. “I thought it was.”
“Do I need to talk to him?” His voice was dangerously low.
I dropped my face into my hands. “Please don’t. He doesn’t even know I’m here.”
“Why did you come to me with this?” This time, his voice was gentle.
“I just needed to talk to you. If Ryan goes back to Texas—” I couldn’t even say it out loud.
Realization came over Jake’s expression. “Ah. It feels a little too close to Mom leaving.”
“I know it’s not the same.” I wrapped my arms around my middle, feeling miserable.
Jake gave me a pointed look. “It’s exactly the same. Someone you love is leaving you.”
“I don’t know—”
He raised a brow. “Don’t you? Why are telling me all of this if it was just a fling?”
I closed my eyes. Jake was right. What I felt for Ryan was love. Ryan fulfilled all my wants and desires, and he cherished me. Or at least, I thought he did. For a brief time, we were each other’s worlds, and now, I didn’t know where we stood.
“He hasn’t broken up with you.”
I wiped my hands on my pants, anxiety filling my stomach. “No, but he’s pulling away. I can feel it.”
Jake rested his elbows on his knees. “Is he? Or is he just distracted with the custody case and the juvenile hearing?”
“Maybe.” It was possible I was overreacting.
He tipped his head to the side. “You might be a little sensitive. You’re used to people you care about leaving.”
“You haven’t.”
“And I wouldn’t. Everything I want is right here.”
My eyes filled with tears. “That’s not the case for Ryan. I’d never come between him and Corey. Maybe I should walk away first.”
“That’s bullshit.”
I startled at his harsh words.
His eyes narrowed on me. “You’re using it as an excuse. If you walk away, it’s not because you’re doing what’s best for Ryan and Corey. It’s because you’re scared.”
Was I running scared? I licked my suddenly dry lips. “I just want to do the right thing.”
Jake shot me a disbelieving look. “You’re fooling yourself.”
I just wanted to wrap myself in a warm blanket and block out the world. I wanted to go to a place where nothing could touch me. Not the hurt from the thought of Ryan leaving or the idea that he didn’t love me as much as I loved him.
I loved him.
That’s why this hurt so much.
Jake stood. “Think about what you’re doing.”
“I am. That’s why I’m here.”