I nod. His actions did scare me, though. Deep down, I know he’s never done anything to put me in harms’ way, at least not intentionally. His father knows how to push his buttons. He can’t avoid him forever since they live in the same house. Even with what went down a few minutes ago, it’s not enough for me to abandon him. I will not be something to be used against him out of fear.
“I’m sure everyone is wondering where we are,” his says as he straightens up. “We should probably get to the lake.”
Any hope I had of things going back to the playful vibe we had when he picked me up are gone when he turns the radio up. It’s not overly loud, but enough that I would have to raise my voice to be heard. Something in him changed back there, and I fear it will ruin us.
* * *
He was right. Everyone else in the group is already there. Ice chests, lawn chairs, and floats are scattered around a small section of the beach area. Layla is walking around with a life vest on. The thing looks like it’s swallowing her. It can’t be comfortable, but I’m happy Tonya is making her wear it. You can never be too careful, even when there are several pairs of eyes around to keep an eye on her.
“You’re finally here,” Tonya yells as we get out of the car. She scans me from head to toe. Taking in my jean shorts and t-shirt. “Please tell me you brought a bathing suit. There’s no way you’re going to be comfortable swimming inthat.”
“Who said I was going to swim?” Lifting my bag out of the car, I almost drop it. It may be little but I have a ton of crap shoved in there. “Do you have any idea how gross lake water is? You can’t even see your feet a couple of feet in. And what if a fish touches me?” I shudder in mock disgust.
“You are so full of it,” Tonya laughs. Of course, she would call me on my bullshit. We’ve grown up swimming in lakes. If Dad heard me make those comments, he’d throw me in just to prove a point. It’s a good thing he’s not here because my phone is in my back pocket, and that would be an expensive replacement.
I shrug. “You shouldn’t ask stupid questions. My bathing suit is on under my clothes.” I shift the top of my shorts down so she can see the red and white striped bikini bottoms. The guys start whistling, and laughing. “Oh my gosh. Grow up,” I roll my eyes.
Randall stands beside me with the ice chest in his hands. “I’m going to set this down and go talk with the guys. You good?”
“Yeah,” I reply with a sad smile. There’s already a difference in him. He’s the one that’s terrified of being abandoned, and I can already feel him distancing himself from me. As if he’s scared he’s going to inadvertently lose, or hurt, me by bringing me further into his life.
With a quick peck on the cheek, he’s takes off toward the group of guys forming a wall between Layla and the water. It’s pretty effective from what I can see. They move in whichever direction she tries to run in. It’s like watching a school of fish dart through the water. Synchronized motions to ward off any threats.
Walking down the small slope, I almost slip and fall. “Have you been drinking?” Cami calls out. “Isn’t it a little early for that?”
“No, I haven’t been drinking, asshole.” I say just loud enough for them to hear.
“Language, cuz,” Tonya admonishes me.
“Sorry,” I mutter and toss my bag next to all their stuff.
Right now, I should be getting ready to jump in the lake and relax with my friends. Instead, I’m casting worried glances at Randall, trying to figure out where his head is at.
“What’s the matter?” Charleigh places a hand on my shoulder. “Did something happen?”
Should I tell them? A part of me feels like maybe it’s Randall’s story to tell. Though, most of them probably already know the crap he has to deal with on a daily basis. Another part of me feels like it’s okay for me to share what happened. I mean, I was there, andwitnessedit. Randall is a much stronger person than I am because I would have already been gone from that hell hole. Of course, it’s easy for me to say that because he’s not my parent. If the roles were reversed, I’m sure I would feel guilty for wanting to get out.
“Hello,” Tonya snaps. “You never answered the question.
“Sorry,” I mumble. Taking a deep breath, I fill them in on the events of my morning. When I’m finished, I sneak a glance at Randall. He’s laughing, and almost looks like his normal self. I see the way his shoulders are tight, and how rigidly he’s standing. He’s wearing the same mask he used to. He’s indifferent, the way he was when we first started hanging out.
“I’m so sorry, girl,” Darcy says. “That had to have been tough.”
“It was, but it’s nothing compared to the crap he goes through every day.” Reaching into the ice chest, I grab a bottle of water. The ice feels amazing against my fevered skin. Sweating while standing still should not be possible, yet it is. “The only thing that worries me is he hasn’t said anything since we left his dad’s. Not really anyway. Is that healthy?”
Layla is running toward Tonya, well as fast as one-year old’s can run, and within seconds she’s in her arms. Watching my cousin try to balance Layla in her life jacket may be one of the funniest things I’ve seen all week. If only there were a way I could turn the whole ordeal into a meme. “Well,” she says after getting Layla situated on her hip. “Probably not.” She sighs, loudly. “Randall’s never been one to talk about his feelings. He keeps everything bottled up until it just bursts.”
“What do you mean by that?” I ask. My gut says he’d never lose his temper toward me. How well do I really know him? My biggest worry is that it’ll end up being another situation similar to what I went through with Andrew. Then I’ll be the one broken-hearted… Again.
Cami rushes to Tonya’s defense. “Oh no, nothing physical. He’ll get really mad and stalk off.” She shrugs. “Most of the time. He’s gotten into it with Jake a few times, but they treat all situations as if they are siblings, you know.”
I don’t know, not really. The closest thing I have to a sibling is Tonya. We were born months apart from each other and we’ve always stuck together. We’ve fought, of course, but the arguments never lasted long. Okay, so maybe I do understand. At least a little bit.
“I guess,” I pause to take a drink. “It’d be a lot better if he’d just open up to me and let me know what’s going on in that head of his.”
“Girl,” Tonya laughs. “That’s never going to happen. Guys are so weird.”
Charleigh claps her hands together. “Let’s make it a good day and go jump in the lake.”