“Then I support whatever makes you happy,” Tonya relents. “No matter what happens in the future, just know that I’m here for you either way. I’ve always got your back.”
“That means a lot,” I breathe a sigh of relief. “Plus side, I’ll no longer be the third wheel in group settings.”
“Is that really how we make you feel?”
“Sometimes,” I shrug even though she can’t see me. “I was okay with it. If I wasn’t actively included, it gave me a chance to shrink into myself without being a bother to anyone.”
“I’m so sorry,” my cousin says. “That’s not how we wanted to make you feel. We can cut back on all the lovey-dovey stuff if it makes you feel better.”
“Dude, no. You and Reaf need to continue being your disgustingly cute selves. If anything, your relationship inspires me.” I flop onto my back. My arms are starting to fall asleep, and have that weird tingly feeling in them. “I want what you have one day.”
“And you think you’ll find that with Randall,” Tonya questions.
“Maybe. Maybe not,” I sigh. “I’m willing to see where it goes.”
Tonya yawns, causing me to yawn in return. “Do you want to keep talking?”
“Naw,” another yawn escapes. “I’ll let you get back to sleep. Bring Layla into the shop tomorrow. We just got a new batch of adorable dresses.”
“I will,” she agrees. “I’ve been looking for some clothes for the summer. This child is growing so quickly I can’t keep up with her.”
“She’s going to be the most stylish little girl in town,” I say. “Goodnight, Tonya. Thank you. For, well, everything. You truly are one of the best people in my life.”
“Night, Melly. Call me anytime,” she takes a breath. “Even if it’s in the middle of the night to talk about a kiss. I’m always here for you.”
She ends the call before I get a chance to do it first. A message came through while I was on the phone, and my heart starts pumping faster.
Randall: Thank you for inviting me. And, there’s no hopefully about it. You’re stuck with me for as long as you want me. Goodnight, Beautiful.
My fingers itch to text him back. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is knowing he has to wake up early in the morning for work. Or the fact that it’s after one in the morning. How did time pass so quickly while I was on the phone? Normally I’m not one that enjoys phone conversations. It’s a task that I’ve always hated. My preference is almost always text messages. There are no weird, or awkward, goodbyes. You just stop texting. Even with my aversion to actual conversations, it was nice talking to Tonya. It almost felt like when we were little girls and would stay up late talking about our crushes, or any other huge event happening in our lives. That hour-long phone call made me feel closer to my cousin than I have in ages.
Setting my phone on the nightstand beside my bed, I can’t stop the wide smile taking over my face. For the first time in a long time, I feel like everything is going to be alright. My life is lining up to be something spectacular, and I’m worthy of someone else’s affections.
A small part of me knows that I shouldn’t place value on myself according to what others think about me. Randall likes me for exactly who I am without trying to change me into something else.
My alarm is set, and I’m ready to take on whatever life has in store for me. Falling asleep should be difficult with my thoughts bouncing around like the little balls in a pinball machine, but soon my eyes are drifting shut, and the last thing I think of is the kiss I shared with Randall. And the promise it holds for what is to come.
Twelve
Randall
Ameliaand I have been inseparable since we became a couple. We hang out at her house, the park, Tonya’s, or Jake’s. My house is the one place I refuse to bring her. Dad has gotten worse. The words are sharper, and the punches are harder. It’s been years since he’s gotten physical with me, and I can’t say that I miss it.
Even though I don’t fight him when he’s acting like an asshole, restraining him is taxing on my body. I have bruises along my ribs from trying to keep his arms pinned to his sides. He somehow always manages to elbow me when I least expect it. When I was younger, I would leave until I knew he was passed out on the couch. But now… I worry he’s going to hurt himself when he’s in his drunken stupors. If I could figure out what has set him off these past few days, I’d do anything I can to prevent it. I know the time is coming to have a talk with him. He has to stop letting mom’s actions in the past dictate how he lives his lifenow. He used to be happy, and I want that for him again. I’ll talk to him this weekend when I actually have a day off. Maybe he’ll be sober enough to have adult conversation. He needs help even if he refuses to admit it.
“Hey,” Amelia nudges me, unknowingly hitting one of my newly acquired bruises. “Where’s your head at?”
Trying not to wince, I reply, “Just thinking about my dad. Things aren’t so great at home.”
“I’m sorry, Randall. Is there anything I can do to help?” The sound of balls hitting pins is an odd backdrop for this conversation.
“Not really. I plan on talking to him this weekend.”
“Randall, you’re up,” Jake hollers from the lane next to us, interrupting whatever Amelia was about to say.
Grabbing a bowling ball from the ball return, I toe the line at the lane. Not getting too close so the damn thing doesn’t buzz. A couple of months ago, I would have thought all of us hanging out together was weird. Hell, I did think it was. Seeing how much both Tonya and Jake love Layla, I know them having a friendship makes everything easier. That little girl knows that both sets of parents love her fiercely.
The little girl in question toddles up to me. She points from the ball in my hand to the lane. I am assuming she wants to be a part of the action. "Hey, Layla, do you want to bowl for me?"