Aha. There it is. Nestled in my back pocket where it usually stays. I’ve gotten in the habit of putting it in my purse when I’m with Randall because I don’t need it when I’m with him. The distraction of scrolling through news feeds doesn’t appeal to me when we’re together. We have a great time, and there’s no reason for me to pull out my phone.
My excitement deflates when I don’t see any new messages on my lock screen, but I brush it aside. He’s driving and a response from him can wait until he gets home. Opening up my contacts, I search for Tonya’s name on my favorites list and tap it to call her.
A loud ringing pours through the receiver. Come on, cuz, answer the phone. When the call goes to voicemail, I hang up before leaving a message. She’s never not answered the phone when I call. Even when it’s the wee hours of the morning. Bummed I throw the phone on my bed and change into my pajamas. Well, pajamas is a stretch since I sleep in t-shirts and shorts. They are comfortable, though and I don’t need anything fancy to sleep in.
My shirt catches on the wrapping around my new tattoo serving as a reminder to take it off. I’m not even sure how I forgot about it, but then I remember the kiss and have my answer. Those few moments with Randall, his lips on mine, took over every brain cell I possess.
Slowly pulling the plastic off, I admire the work of art that is now a part of me forever. The colors on the feathers are vivid and the lines are so intricate. I’m amazed at the talent Charleigh has. Tonya told me that she was good, but I didn’t realize what an understatement that was. She is phenomenal, and I’m sure the sudden increase in traffic at the shop has a lot to do with her.
My phone rings as I wad up the plastic and throw it in the trash. The quick dash to the bed to answer it before it wakes my aunt and uncle up results in me hitting my shin on the bed frame. Shit, that’s likely to leave a bruise tomorrow. “Ow. Hello,” I gasp into the phone as I bring it to my ear.
“You had better be stranded on the side of the road, or in some sort of crisis,” Tonya whispers loudly into the phone. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”
“Sorry, grandma,” I snort. “I didn’t realize you were on a set schedule.”
“Jokes about me being old will get you nowhere.” A door closes on her end of the call, and I’m pretty sure she’s walking to the living room so she doesn’t wake Reaf or Layla. “Seriously, are you okay? Do I need to come pick you up from somewhere?”
“No,” I laugh. “I’m fine.”
“Then why are you calling me so late?”
“Why are you being so crabby?” I snap back. “You’ve never had any issues with me calling you this late before.”
“Sorry,” she mumbles. “Layla has been fighting us when it comes to bed time, and getting up ridiculously early. I’m exhausted.”
“Damn,” I say, sitting on the edge of my bed. “That has to be rough. I’m sorry for bugging you.” And the worst cousin of the year award goes to me. It’s still hard for me to remember that she has a family, and more responsibilities, now. She can’t drop everything to answer my middle of the night calls like she could when we were still in high school.
“It’s okay,” she replies. “Who needs sleep anyway?”
“You do.”
She sighs, “That’s stating the obvious.” A few seconds of silence pass. “So, what’s up? You usually only call when you have something you need to get off your chest, or you can’t sleep.”
“I kissed Randall.” The words tumble out of my mouth in a rush.
“You did what?” My cousin shrieks. She clears her throat and whispers, “You kissed Randall?”
“Well,” I draw out. “He kissed me. It was totally mutual.”
“Back up. How did this kiss come about?”
Do I give her the whole story, or just fill her in on the good parts? Might as well start at the beginning. “I asked him to go to the tattoo shop with me, and we had an almost kiss while we were there until Charleigh walked in. I was so freaking embarrassed. When we got back to the house, he asked if he could kiss me.” Just thinking about how he asked before going in for the kiss makes me swoon all over again. For all the crap I’ve heard about him, he turned out to be such a gentlemen about the whole situation.
“And, I’m assuming you said yes?” It sounds more like an accusation than a question. She didn’t have any problems with me being his friend. Why would she object to the possibility of it turning into morel?
“Well, yeah,” I say. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be calling you to tell you about it.”
The quiet coming from her side of the line is unsettling. I have this big balloon of happiness, and excitement, and I feel like she’s about to pop it. My cousin is going to force me to drift back down to reality. A place I’m not sure I want to be. For once, after all the crap I’ve dealt with, I just want to behappy.
“Look,” she finally speaks. “I have nothing against Randall. He’s had a shitty life,” I can already hear the “but” that’s coming, even as I do my best to will it away. “but… do you think it might be a little soon for you?”
“Soon for me in what regard?” Playing dumb isn’t something I normally do. “He’s a guy that genuinely likes me and makes me laugh. I’m not sure I see a problem.”
“You know what I mean, Amelia,” Tonya’s voice is matter of fact, brooking no argument. “Just a few weeks ago, you were curled up on my couch, hiding from the world. Hell, hiding from your own family. I only want to make sure you’re doing what’s best for you.”
Her brutal honesty hits me in the gut. She’s not trying to be mean, I know that. I’ve been hiding from the world way too long. Before I dated Andrew, I stayed to myself. Not wanting to take a chance on anything. Perfectly happy with the status quo. After he destroyed me, I hid away again. If I actually want tolive, I need to open myself up to possibilities.
“For once in my life, I think I’m doing the right thing.” Flipping over to my stomach, I lean on my elbows. “Andrew did a number on me, I won’t lie about that. Letting the awful, and hurtful, things he did taint my future isn’t good either.”