Miriam made a strangled noise. “It’s already messy! Every part of this is messy. There’s never going to be a perfect time, with no risk. We can’t keep dancing around each other. I can’t stop wanting you, and I’m dying over here. Please, Noelle, for fuck’s sake, please kiss me already.”
Noelle had been trying, since the first time Miriam walked into her kitchen and asked for caffeine, to stop wanting her. Instead of stopping, the feelings had only grown into a conflagration, so that every time they brushed past each other, Noelle felt it all the way down to her core. She was thinking about Miriam naked more often than she was thinking about trees, at this point.
They couldn’t pretend they were just business partners anymore. It would never work.
Noelle pulled off her deerstalker and scrubbed her gloved hands through her hair. She could hear Hannah in her head, saying that she would fall in love again in an instant. If Levi was worth that much heartache, Miriam certainly was. It might be a disaster, but it also might not be, and she couldn’t live with not knowing. She realized that all her fears paled in comparison to the possibility of what might be between them—to the reality of this woman.
Besides, it would take a stronger woman than Noelle to say no to Miriam Blum when she was begging to be kissed.
She shoved her hat in the back pocket of her jeans and stripped off her gloves with her teeth.
“What are you doing?” Miriam asked, giggling. “You’re going to freeze!”
“If I’m going to kiss you, I’m going to do it properly,” Noelle told her, skating up into Miriam’s personal space and putting a hand on her waist to pull her in.
Miriam looked up at her, the millions of stars reflected in her eyes, and a little triumphant smile on her lips. Noelle tangled her other hand in Miriam’s curls, bringing her face down so their noses were touching. “Are you ready?”
In response, Miriam wrapped her arms around Noelle’s waist, their puffy jackets getting in the way, and moved her head a fraction of an inch to close the gap between them. They fell into each other, the center of the night, the skies circling around them. Noelle felt Miriam’s knees go weak, and she chuckled where their tongues met, as she hauled her back up.
When they finally dragged their lips apart, Miriam whispered, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”
The next morning, after a lot of kissing and very little sleep, Noelle was up early, lying in wait for Miriam in the trees. She watched Miriam walk toward her, scarf blowing behind her in the wind.
God, she was sexy.
“When I was a kid,” Miriam said as soon as she was within earshot, “I loved to walk through the farm, running my fingers through the needles on either side of the aisles. I’ve missed them.”
Noelle could understand this, as she tended to get itchy if she was away from the trees for more than a few hours. “Have you been into the back acreage?” she asked, already knowing the answer. If Miriam had been in her trees, she would have known.
“No, I’ve been distracted by everything else going on. I forgot how much it feels like being Lucy Pevensie to walk back into them.”
It was strange, how well Miriam understood things that Noelle had never even articulated to herself.
Exhilarating.
“Hannah told me you needed me to check out a tree for the tree lighting? I trust you to choose whichever one is best,” Miriam said. “But I do want to ask you about what the hell I should put on the tree.”
“Oh, no, I don’t need your help. That was a ruse to get you out here, because I wanted to kiss you away from our nosy friends and relations.” Although she was pretty sure Hannah already knew, because she’d basically pushed Noelle out of the door.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Miriam asked, fluttering her eyelashes and putting her fingers in the pockets of Noelle’s jeans to pull herself in.
Noelle kissed her, slowly, exploring her mouth. She tasted of coffee and a Rosenstein’s raspberry Danish, and it was intoxicating.
“To answer your question,” she said when they broke apart, resting a hand on Miriam’s ass in her fleece-lined leggings (she couldn’t stop herself), “Cass used to do the decorating, so there have been some fairly wacky themed trees over the years. Elvis, pink flamingos—the lawn decoration, not the film—and cats. Flying cats.” Noelle thought back. “One year it all glowed in black light. It’s pretty broad. That said, you know, family-friendly.”
“No dildos, you’re saying. Bummer. That’s totally where I was going.” Miriam rolled her eyes.
Now Noelle was thinking about dildos. She was suddenly uncomfortable in her jeans. “That’s enough shop talk for today,” she declared, pulling Miriam back inside the circle of her arms. Now that she was allowed to touch her, she wanted to be doing it all the time. “It’s your birthday, and I want to take you on a date.”
“You don’t need to do that!” Miriam protested. “I don’t usually make a big deal out of my birthday. Besides, we already had a romantic ice-skating date, and I already got my birthday wish.” She looked up at Noelle, waggling her eyebrows. “If you know what I mean.”
“I may not have dated for a while, but I haven’t forgotten how a butch treats her lady. I’m going to make a big deal out of your birthday, and I’m going to woo you. You planned that date last night, and I didn’t get a chance to impress you.” Noelle kissed her on the nose. “I’m taking you out. But just to Advent, because we have to be home in time for Mrs. Matthews’s big secret birthday celebration with her cake, or she’ll kill me.”
They took Noelle’s refurbished red 1976 Chevy pickup. The wood paneling on the door gleamed, the white leather seats oiled to a sheen. “Did you do the rehab on this yourself?” Miriam walked around the truck, trailing her fingers down the white stripe on the door.
Noelle felt herself puffing up with pride. “She’s not overwhelmingly practical in the snow, but I love her. The heat is out, sorry. I haven’t had time to fix it, what with everything else going on. You can snuggle up next to me for warmth.” She smirked at Miriam, who rolled her eyes.
“Oh, that’s so kind of you, ma’am. I don’t mind if I do,” Miriam drawled. She pressed her body up against Noelle’s. Noelle cleared her throat.I did this to myself, she thought,and now I’m going to have to enjoy the torture.