“Actually, in charge of the entire project is exactly what I was thinking,” Noelle interjected.
Hannah spun to face her. “I’m the events manager! I should be in charge of planning the events. Besides, Miriam is going to have to travel for work. She’ll be with the Old Ladies, not managing things.”
“Do not use the Old Ladies as an excuse!” Miriam accused her cousin. “I’ll be here more than enough, junk buys or not.”
Noelle nodded at Hannah. “Yes. You absolutely should collaborate with Miriam on deciding which events get planned, what support you need to run them, all of that. But you are already head of guest services, which is a full-time job. If you trust Miriam to come to you for the parts that require both of you to sign off, you can focus on managing the big influx of guests this is supposed to bring us. Hell, you can make an org chart that lists all the decisions requiring two-person approval, so no one is ever confused.”
“I do love an org chart,” Hannah conceded, her face softening.
Miriam had a lot of feelings about Noelle standing up for her, trusting her with the business, and advocating for her to have so much responsibility. She was going to think about those feelings later, when Hannah wasn’t around, because they were confusing and overwhelming—and also pretty horny. Right now, she was going to try to figure out what the hell was happening with her cousin.
She sat down at one of the tables and pulled out the chair next to her. Hannah reluctantly sunk into it.
“Nan, I thought you were glad to have me here. I don’t want to keep stepping on your toes, but I don’t understand why delegating some of this responsibility is pushing your buttons,” Miriam asked. “Things were fine between us when we were brainstorming.”
“Because that was theoretical, and this is execution,” Hannah explained, crossing her arms around herself protectively. “I’m in charge of execution. I have to be, because it keeps me moving. I learned how to take care of this place without you because I had to. You weren’t here when Cass was dying, when I walked away from the love of my life and it almost killed me.”
Oh, no.This wasn’t just about Hannah panicking when she wasn’t in charge of things, this was so much bigger.
“I got good at doing everything myself. This is mine. I gave up everything for it, and if I’m good at it, then it was worth it.” Her voice broke on the end. “If you don’t need me, why am I here?”
“Instead of with Blue?” Miriam asked quietly.
Hannah nodded through sobs, and Miriam wrapped her up in her arms.
“Noelle’s not wrong, I don’t need a second full-time position. But I also really hate not being in control,” Hannah said, finally pulling away. “I’ll think about it.” She got up and walked away, and Noelle, who had been listening silently, followed. Noelle nodded at Miriam as if to convey that she would make sure Hannah was okay.
Miriam sat in the empty dining room, playing with the shitty old napkin holders, until Mrs. Matthews entered.
“Come help me make challah,” Mrs. Matthews called to Miriam. “No one is any use to me with baking. You’d think a braid was an alien object.”
Miriam knew a con when she saw one, but she walked into the kitchen anyway, rolling up her sleeves and washing her hands.
“You know my challah is middling,” Miriam reminded her.
Mrs. Matthews shook her head in dramatic disappointment. “I was hoping you might have improved your game, all those years living in the South, without access to quality bread.”
“There’s been a settled Jewish community in Charleston since the 1740s,” Miriam teased. “I’m making do okay.”
Mrs. Matthews handed her a ball of dough, and they worked for a few moments in silence, Miriam letting herself get back into the rhythm of something she’d known how to do all her life.
“I know you’re just trying to help me feel useful,” she told Mrs. Matthews. “And I appreciate it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was using you for labor while also looking for excuses to hang out with you.” Mrs. Matthews winked at her. “Noelle and Hannah are very similar, you know.”
Miriam knew better than to interrupt.
“It’s what drew them together when Noelle first moved here. They were two peas in a pod who had finally found each other. Hannah has been searching all her life for what Anne Shirley called a kindred spirit. She was looking for her Diana.”
“I always thought that was Levi,” Miriam murmured.
Mrs. Matthews chuckled. “He was and he wasn’t. You may remember that as a child, he was…intense and capricious. Hannah likes things to be rock solid.”
As children, Miriam had seen Hannah’s loving parents, her close relationships with the Rosensteins and Blue, and envied all the love in Hannah’s life. She hadn’t realized her cousin was lonely, too. Maybe hating traveling wasn’t the only reason she wanted to stay at Carrigan’s so desperately.
“But, you know, she’s bossy. She likes to be in charge of everything. She needed someone as strong willed and territorial as she was. She and Noelle, they fit. Noelle took the farm, Hannah took the inn, and neither of them has ever had to cede any territory. It’s been worse since Levi left, because work has been the only thing keeping her from drowning some days.”
“I’m not asking Hannah to give up any of her work,” Miriam insisted, finally seeing Mrs. Matthews’s point. “I am not capable of doing what she does, and I would hate it.”