“Yes.”
He stared at her a moment. Birds chirped, insects hummed. “I don’t know.”
It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it felt honest and the honesty kept her talking. “I was in the park and I met my next boyfriend.”
Noah’s jaw hardened.
“Not like that!” Nicole said quickly. “But also, totally like that. He’s the next one. He’s my next boyfriend that’s exactly like all my other boyfriends. I know it like I know all the songs toHigh School Musical, even though I don’t want to.”
Noah’s brow furrowed, whether because he hated the movie or her being there, Nicole wasn’t sure.
She drew a deep breath. “I don’t want what I want. It’s just momentum.”
“What is?”
“My life. It’s just a collection of things I can’t stop doing over and over.”
“Right.” He looked at her hard. “So whatdoyou want?”
It was a valid question, but she didn’t have a ready answer. It felt like the first thing she’d ever been asked. She rubbed the stich in her side, listening to Noah’s music thudding down through the hall.
“Any second now…?”
She stared at her dusty Nikes. “I don’t know. I just wanted to come and see you.”
“Why?”
“Because…” Her bravery floundered. Could she really say this?
“Nikki?”
The nickname jolted like an electric shock. She opened her mouth. “Because you don’t treat me like anyone else you don’t baby me. And I need your help.”
His brows lifted. “With what?”
“It’s kind of a long story, but I promise it’s not a sex thing.”
The corner of Noah’s mouth quirked. “Your face is covered in black shit.”
“Oh no.” Nicole reached up and confirmed her mascara, shadow, and liner were smeared around her eye socket. “Can I use your bathroom?”
Noah shook his head...notno. More like he couldn’t believe what was happening. He was still smiling. “Sure.”
Chapter 12
Noah watched Nicole walk up his hallway. For the first time since he’d known her, she looked like a mess. There was a line of sweat down her back, her hair was a tangle, and she was rubbing at her face, smearing her already smeared makeup.
Do you believe in destiny?
How had she known he’d been lying on his couch wondering the same thing? Paula was missing. He’d found a note on the kitchen table saying she’d gone to see Shredder. Her phone was off and when he’d called her work, they’d told him she hadn’t showed up for her shift. Her second chance was over, and now he was wondering if it had ever started. She’d been hurt so fucking badly, but her heart had stayed even when her body left.
It felt like a sign. He liked his life in Melbourne, but he was treading water. He hadn’t had a girlfriend since The Rangers, no close friends, except Sam, who didn’t know shit about his past, and Edgar, who’d gone on hiatus. House aside, he had no roots to anything and no plans to lay any down. He’d thought he was done with groups, clubs, families—but maybe he was just holding the door open for The Rangers? Was the club a riptide he kept swimming away from when his fate was to drown? He dreamed about it sometimes. Going back. Would he call Shredder one day asking to pick up where he left off?
“Do you have any more pinot?” Nicole asked, turning to reveal the kabuki mask that was her made-up face.
Noah struggled not to laugh. “Nah.”
Her mouth turned down, and she looked so much like a sad clown, he had to bite the insides of his cheeks.