Noah looked across at his housemate, a sulky fiftysomething teenager, pissed at how her night had gone. He didn’t think she’d hold out much longer. As Shredder’s woman, she’d had status, community, access to money and drugs. No matter how shitty life got, it made sense in a way living with him didn’t. But that was no reason to ditch the new for the familiar. Things changed and they could change for the better. Edgar taught him that.
“You shouldn’t go back,” he said. “You know what’s there.”
She lifted her chin. “What’s there?”
Petty rivalries, violence in every shade of red, black and blue, never painting, never reading, only tattooing the ugliest shit on the ugliest men, having his old man’s heel crushed into his neck every day of his life. “A world of bullshit.”
Paula laughed like she wished what he said was funny. “Don’t be a drama queen.”
“Fine, but if you’re gonna keep seeing him, you can’t stay with me.”
“You chucking me out?”
“No, I’m warning you. I’ve got a life here and I don’t need Shredder or any of the boys around fucking it up.”
Paula’s upper lip curled. “It’s none of your business who I see or what I do!”
“It is when it’s Rangers.”
“Why? I told you, I didn’t say where we live.”
“Don’t play dumb. I’m being honest with you, be honest with me. You know they can figure it out and now I’ve picked you up, Shredder's got every reason to try.”
“So? They don’t give a shit where you are. You’ve been gone for years, the club’s moved on.”
She said it defiantly, as though it might hurt.
Noah’s hands tightened on the wheel. “They’ll give a shit that I helped you ditch Shredder. They’ll give a shit if they find out I’m tattooing.”
“Why would they—”
“They’re the ones who trained me up. Paid for my machine. Got me my reputation.”
“So?”
He didn’t answer. Paula wasn’t in the mood to listen. She was going to keep picking fights, talking herself into calling Shredder for reassurance and he’d be damned if he helped her do that. He wasn’t angry anymore, instead a powdery exhaustion was setting in like concrete dust. Why was it so easy to repaint the past with rose-tinted homesickness?
He still felt it sometimes, that longing to ink patches into sun-damaged skin, to ride behind his old man, to go to parties like the one he’d described to Nikki.
Nikki…
Paula’s situation had driven thoughts of her clean away, but now they were back with a vengeance. The van hit a red light and Noah closed his eyes, remembering the look of pained excitement as he fucked Nicole’s perfect little tits.
Jesus fucking Christ, thatsex.
He’d never fucked like that before. As though the world would end if he didn’t blow her mind. He’d been so blindsided, so horny, he’d barely known what to do with himself or her. They needed more time,all the time.
Paula flicked his arm. “Green light, go!”
“Shit.” He opened his eyes and accelerated to catch up to the Suzuki in front of him.
“Worried about Shredder?”
But he wasn’t. Thoughts of Shredder and Nicole didn’t seem able to coexist in his head. His mind was back in his bedroom, feeling her skin, listening to her moan. He’d only been gone forty minutes; could she still be at his place?
She wasn’t. Sam’s car was gone from the front of his house when they got there. Feeling even more lethargic, he parked the van, wondering if this was payback for all the times he’d wished one night stands would evaporate. His music was still playing inside. A$AP Rocky, LSD. God, the way she’d felt around him, tight as a silk and wet as rain. Could he call her and ask her to come back? He’d sound desperate, but fuck it, hewasdesperate. Seeing Shredder had wrung him dry and Nicole’s body was the only thing he could think of that would take him from a three to a ten. He wouldn’t be selfish. He’d give her everything she wanted in the sack, eat her pussy, make her come as much as she wanted. They were so fucking good together—surely, she’d felt that? Surely once wouldn’t be enough for her either? He wandered to the kitchen, debating whether to call. Paula followed.
“Hello, hello.” She pointed to the pinot on the table. “Since when do you drink white?”