It was wrong, the thought that came to her next, but it came all the same. She knew he was still a virgin and that he got no small amount of shit from it—from herself included. Maybe she could go down there and just offer to take that business off the table? Would that be a kind thing to do?
She imagined Scott pulling her into bed and kissing her desperately, needing to escape the pain. A shiver went through her and she was ashamed of herself. No, she wouldn’t offer to comfort him with her vagina, but maybe she could—
“Sam!” The door to her bedroom burst open. It was Nicole, red-faced and shiny-eyed. “Did dad tell you about Scott’s mum?”
“Yeah,” Sam said, fighting back tears. “It’s horrible.”
“We have to make him and his dad food! That’s what people do when someone dies. I’ll make a lasagna and you can do one of your pies. A chocolate one or something.”
“I…” She glanced over her shoulder at Scott. He was still sitting motionless on his bed. What did she really have to offer someone in his situation? He wouldn’t want to see her. Dessert was the best thing she had to offer. “Okay, I’ll make another pie.”
It would be a strawberry one. After weeks of covert pie deliveries, she knew he liked them the best.
Present Day
People thought Samhad ‘a look.’ They were wrong. She wore black jeans, halter tops and doc martens because then she didn’t have to think about wearing anything else. Tattoos were forever, no one expected her to show up anywhere with different tattoos—why did she have to spend any amount of time thinking about what to wear? Sam hated clothes. She hated clothes and she hated shopping and she hated fashion trends, and choosing an outfit for an occasion made her want to die.
This philosophy was not helping her as she attempted to find something to wear on her ‘real date’ with Scott. Everything she owned was a bit…trash, and she knew Scott was taking her somewhere fancy. As she pulled out dresses and skirts, some of them dating back to her early teens, she grew more frustrated. Pretty soon she was going to chuck in the towel and show up naked in a trench coat. And not in a hot way.
“Fucking hell,” she muttered, throwing aside a tatty t-shirt proclaiming emo-rock whiners, The Used. “This date is such a terrible fucking idea.”
“Sam?”
She turned to see Nicole standing in the door. She gestured at the piles of clothes. “I can’t pick an outfit.”
“Still? You haven’t changed since we were kids, have you?”
Sam turned away so she wouldn’t say something bitchy in response. God, she wished it didn’t have to be this way. She could swear there was a time when she and Nicole had loved each other’s company, but this visit had only served to show her how far apart they’d drifted.
“Can I help you with something?” Sam asked. “I’ve got to get ready.”
“Hang on a second.” Nicole rummaged through a nearby pile of clothes. “What about this?”
She held up light-blue shift top Sam had bought in a splurge five years ago. “I dunno. I’ve never worn it.”
“Why don’t you start now? It’d look good with…” Nicole walked over to another pile and pulled out a gold and cream striped skirt. “…this.”
Sam knew she was right because she was holding them up to herself, and anything that looked good on Nix looked good on her. “Thanks, I’ll try them on.”
Nicole stayed as she tugged on the clothes, even finding a forgotten pair of strappy sandals to complete the outfit. Sam posed in front of the mirror, shifting from side to side, trying to make sense of the cutesy version of herself in the mirror.
Nicole gave her a golfer’s clap. “You look beautiful,”
“I look like you.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Not at all.” She saw her twin chew her lower lip in the mirror. “What’s up? Too much gold?”
“No, are you sure going out with Scott is a good idea?”
Sam felt defensive in a way she knew indicated guilt. No, all things considered, she wasn’t sure going on a date with Scott Sanderson was a good idea, but she wasn’t talking about that with someone who hadn’t had time for a single shared meal since she’d come home. “If this is about buyscottsandersonaroot.com, we’re not going to talk about it. We have an unspoken mutual agreement.”
Nicole made a face. “It’s not about buyscottsandersonaroot.com. God, I forgot you called it that.”
Sam couldn’t help smiling. She was still kind of proud of the name. “Don’t stress out about what this all means, Nix. Scott and I are just catching up.”
Her sister pursed her lips.