Bonnie frowned. “It’s not like you to be so judgy, Max.”
“I’m not being judgy. Her work’s amazing. I donated money toward it.”
“That’s sweet. Does she know it was you?”
Max shook his head. “Left it anonymous. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to buy her affection or something.”
“So let me get this straight. Miss Legs is pretty, talented, willing to fuck you. What exactly is the problem?”
He stared at the empty fireplace, where an old-timey picture of a married couple, probably Scott’s parents, rested. “I just thought I’d be in a different place in my life right now.”
“And seeing someone as young as her feels like a step backward?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“Max, I know you want it all figured out, but life just doesn’t work that way. Look at us.”
Max tapped his beer bottle with his thumbnail. “Yeah, look at us.”
“I mean, I know you loved me but your sisters were right. We rushed things. You don’t have to make that mistake again. You can move at your own pace. Even if it’s just a fling with this girl, it might be what you need. Someone to teach you to lighten up a bit.”
Max’s stomach felt like lead. “Julia doesn’t want to have a fling. She told me that she has feelings for me.”
That she loved me.
“Well, like I said, she was always staring at you. Blushing too.”
His ears went all hot.
“See.” Bonnie pinched his right lobe. “I can tell you’re crazy about her.”
Max looked away. “It just feels so fucked up. Being into someone new, someone so young…I’m scared of what it says about me.”
“I felt like that with Scott. After everything ended between us, I thought I was this whore who betrayed the world’s most perfect, handsome police officer.”
“You didn’t betray me. We were over way before you hooked up with Scott.”
She dismissed his excuses with a flick of her small white wrist. “I made my decisions and I accept that. I’m just telling you the whispering and the pointing fingers? It ends.”
Max frowned. “Not really. People are always going to remember you cheated on me and they’ll remember that I hooked up with a twenty-four-year-old while I was still technically married.”
Bonnie snorted. “People will care about what you do just long enough to feel superior and then they’ll go back to being completely self-absorbed.”
“Maybe.”
Bonnie sighed exasperatedly. “Fine. Pout. Make those big black eyebrows knit together, but at the end of the day you’re either going to admit you like this girl or you’re going to lose her. I mean, I know cheating on you was a shitty thing to do but at least I’m big enough to admit Scott means more to me than people thinking I’m trashy.”
“You’re not trashy.”
“I’m a little trashy.” She rubbed his shoulder. “Cheer up and, oh my God, when are you going to take off the ring?”
Max looked down at the heavy silver band. “Cutting it just seems way too symbolic.”
“Yeah, because wearing it isn't symbolic, symbolic of the fact you'remarried.”
“I know. I just…It feels like a promise to him as much as you.”
Bonnie smiled sadly. “You’re never going to be your dad, Max. You’re a great cop, and awesome friend, and fantastic lay, but you’re not him and you shouldn’t want to be.”