He scowled. “That’s what you think I’m like? Some flaky fucking teenager who can’t make up his mind?”
Julia sighed and said something she’d been thinking a lot over the past week. “You’re not a teenager, Max, you’re my romance novel guy. The big, handsome, alpha male who sweeps me off my feet and fucks my daylights out exactly the way I’ve always dreamed of—”
Max smiled.
“—but you don’t really want me.”
His face fell. “I do want you. I’ve been going crazy all week thinking about you.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“To me it does. I’ve had a lot of sex Jules but the way you’re turning me inside out…” He exhaled loudly. “What about doing this casual like you said in the parking lot? Date and see how things go?”
“Screwing in little hidey-holes isn’t dating.”
“That’s not what I meant. I could come over to your place after work. We could have pizza.”
Julia rubbed under her eyes, collecting the mascara that had smeared there. “Sure, pizza at my place. Will you show up in sunglasses and a baseball cap or can we risk someone spotting you walking from your car to my house?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then why don’t we go to the movies? Or better yet, why don’t we go to the work party together?”
He winced. “You meanthisSunday?”
Julia wouldn’t have been surprised if she crumbled into dust and blew away. “You haven’t changed your mind at all. You want to keep me at arm’s length and fuck me at the same time so you’re throwing me a few relationship tidbits.”
“That’s not what I’m doing,” he said, but he didn’t look very sure.
Julia groaned. “We keep colliding but if we can’t make it something real then why bother?”
“What about pleasure?” He gestured between their bodies. “What about this?”
Julia felt a burning sensation in the back of her eyes. “Max, do you have any idea how hard it is for me to work with you? Even before we hooked up I had to watch you and Bonnie leave together hand in hand every night and it used to tear me up inside. I know that sounds stupid and childish andstalkerybut it’s true. Now you’re single and I still can’t have you but you’re offering sex as a consolation prize. Do you know what’ll happen to me when you meet someone ‘age appropriate’ and move on?’ I’ll be crushed, Max. I’ll be fucking miserable and it’ll be my fault for agreeing to be your dirty little secret in the first place.” Her voice broke and she turned her face away from him.
“Jules—”
“Don’t. Don’t say anything else to me.” She wiped under her eyes and tugged the bottom of her skirt. “This was the last time we do this.”
“Jules, wait.” Max hastily refastened his belt, clearly planning on following her.
“I’m done waiting for you,” she said walking towards the door. “If you come and find me again you better want something real, otherwise, consider this goodbye.” She opened the door. “Also, the next time you confront a guy just for talking to me, I’m going to tell Henrietta you gave me herpes. I’ll bring it up really naturally too, ask her if she thinks I could have gotten it from jabbing myself on one of the guns in the evidence room.”
She only caught a glimpse of Max’s horrified expression before the door slammed shut.
Chapter 21
MAXsat outside Julia’s house. Obviously, the Bennett sisters weren’t much for gardening. There were weeds all over; the lawn had gone to seed. Everywhere he looked there were dogs; big ones, small ones, most of them old, many of them limping. They wandered around the yard in packs lost in their canine thoughts. It was obvious they were strays. What kind of women took in this many stray dogs?
Women who know what being hurt and left behind feels like. You fucking idiot.
Max rubbed a hand across his jaw. There was an ache in his chest like it was bound in rubber bands. He’d stayed back at work for an hour after Julia left, picking up the pieces of the broken clock and fucking around with his paperwork.
When he was sure she wasn’t coming back he was determined to go home and instead he found himself driving to her door.
And now he was sitting by her front lawn in his car like a creep realizing he’d used and rejected a woman who took in stray dogs. Twice.
A pale face appeared in the Bennetts’ front window and disappeared in a swish of hair. Max groaned. The clock was officially on for him explaining himself. He got out of his car and pushed open the wooden gate. Immediately the dogs crowded around him, sniffing and whining. Max patted them sparingly. Winning Julia over would be difficult enough without being covered in dog hair. The front door was a faded pink color and the knob was rusty. He rang the doorbell, which gave a half-heartedbrrrringas though it couldn’t really be bothered. There was a stampede of scrabbly footsteps inside the house as though at least a dozen more dogs had rushed to greet the visitor.