His tentacles hook the backs of my knees and jerk me down, sealing us together. And... holy shit... there is his cock, and it’s as massive as he is. We’re too close for me to see properly, but it feels just as human as his torso. I don’t know if that’s a relief or disappointment; it’s hard to feel anything but pleasure with his tentacles wrapping around my limbs.
And then it moves.
I gasp. “Is your cockprehensile?”
“Is that a problem?”
“No. Oh god, absolutely not. Donotstop.”
“If you don’t want to stop...” Thane bends down, his voice rough in my ear. “Then you sayplease.”
Oh god. I shiver. He hasn’tdoneanything to me yet, but the promise is right there in his touch, in his voice. This time, we’re not stopping. He’s going to give me everything I need. “P-please.”
“That’s a start.”
I should leave it at that. But I know myself well enough to understand I’ll continue to bash myself against the cliffs surrounding his heart. The more unreachable he makes himself, the more I’ll want his approval. The more I’ll wanthim. The only way to combat that is to ask for nothing.
But I... can’t.
I draw back a little and worry my bottom lip. “Thane.”
He stills. “Yes?”
It would be so easy to play this safe. I almost laugh at the thought. I flew right pastsafethe moment I made the demon deal. But that was different. Azazel promised me safety, and maybe I was a fool to believe him, but I haven’t had any cause to doubt his word since.
But this? This is the equivalent of putting my heart in Thane’s hands and asking him not to toss it into the trash. I know how that goes. I’m never enough and yet always too much. If I couldn’t make my own mother love me, how could I possibly make anyone else? Every romantic partner I’ve had has washed their hands of me, and Thane will as well. He has more reason to than most. I heard the sorrow in his voice when he talked about his dead husband. That was a once-in-a-lifetime romance.
How can a fuckup like me compare?
My chest lurches, and my throat tries to close. I swallow hard and try to kiss him again. Thane, being Thane, holds me back just enough that I can’t make the contact that will end this conversation before it starts. “Tell me, Catalina.”
I don’t want to, but I know him well enough by now to recognize the stubbornness in his tone. My sigh is silent but feels like it takes all the strength from my body. We’re doing this, and I have no one to blame but myself. “Don’t leave. After, I mean. Don’t just fuck me and then bolt like you’re afraid I’m going to tie you up and shove a ring on your finger.” The sudden longing for just that hits me like a rogue wave, and I have to pause to get my breath back. “If we’re doing this, I want you to stay the night.” There. That’s a reasonable request. Isn’t it?
Thane doesn’t answer immediately. In fact, he’s quiet long enough that I start to doubt how reasonable my request actually is. He wants me—we wouldn’t be in this position if he didn’t—but wanting to fuck and wanting to cuddle are two very different desires.
I almost take it back. My body throbs with thwarted desire, and I need him to make me cum, to fuck me until I can’t string a single thought together. If he calls a halt to this now and takes me back to my room, I might actually die.
But ithurtswhen he leaves. I’m not naive; him staying might only mean he wants to fuck me enough to agree to the rest of it, but... surely I don’t deserve to be so blatantly used.
If he’s going to use me, the least he can do is lie to me a little to soften it.
Aren’t I using him too?
I would love to say I am. That all I want are this man’s tentacles and his clever hands and his stern commands to provide me with a temporary escape. It feels like a lie, though.
I’m not above lying to myself. In fact, I do it often enough to be excellent at it. I’m just so tired of the effort it takes to shore up the fantasy.
Thane catches my chin lightly and lifts my face to his. “You want me to stay afterward.”
I almost chicken out right then and there, but I’ve gone too far to go back now. “Yes.”
He searches my eyes for a long moment and nods, almost to himself. “Very well. I don’t know that my sleeping arrangements will be comfortable for you, but we can try.”
Does he sleep underwater? The thought both repels and draws me, and I’m not sure how to feel. Thane doesn’t give me a chance to figure it out. He kisses me again, and then his larger tentacles wrap around my wrists and guide them over my head.
He’s fully supporting me now; not a single bit of my body is touching the cold stone. His tentacles writhe under me, a thick one wrapping around my waist and another two smaller ones teasing my nipples until I cry out against his mouth.
He eases me a little away from him and, god, the way he seems to drink in the sight of me, splayed open for his perusal... The tentacles at my nipples wrap around my breasts and squeeze a bit, as if offering them up to him. It makes my nipples tingle, and I shift, instinctively seeking friction there.