Poor Catalina, her mommy was neglectful to the point of abuse, now she seeks out every single unattainable partner she can find, attempting to prove she’s worthy of love.
Anger and shame are a heady mixture, and they get me off my back and onto my feet. A quick look around the space shows I’m in a cavern that’s half water and half stone. The walls curve up into darkness, the ceiling so high, I can’t make it out. Panic has just started to lick its way up my throat when I see the dark curving staircase. It’s been carved right into the wall, and there’s no railing, but it’s wide enough that I should be able to climb safely.
Fool that I am, I glance back at the dark pool of water. It’s completely still, not a single ripple to suggest Thane has done anything but leave the premises as quickly as possible.
“A totally normal thing to do after you finger a lady and then suck on her clit until she cums screaming your name.”
No one answers. Why would they? I’m entirely alone.
The thought makes me break out in goose bumps. “No. Not alone. I don’t know that.” Thane wouldn’t do that to me. He may be cold, but he hasn’t shown any evidence of being cruel. Surely he’s not going to start now?
There’s only one way to find out.
It takes a very long time to reach the top of the stairs. I have to take three breaks, sinking onto the stone and rubbing my shaking thighs each time. There isn’t a single doorway or exit the entire time, not until I get to the very top. When I see the heavy wooden door, I almost convince myself I’m imagining it—that this staircase never ends and I’m in some hellish purgatory that will have me climbing forever as payment for some imagined sin.
Well, no need to imagine it. I’ve sinned plenty, at least according to the church people who have tried to save my soul periodically throughout my life. Too bad I’m not looking to be saved.
Liar.
I ignore the nasty little voice in the back of my mind and shove open the door. Or I try. It’s even heavier than it looks, and it’s swollen—likely from the salt air—into the doorframe. I have to shove my shoulder against the wood to even get it to budge. By the time it swings reluctantly open, I’m sweating and cursing Thane’s name.
The other place wasn’t so bad. Yes, the people avoided me, and there was that unfortunate incident with Henryk in the kitchen where he threatened to murder me, but at least I was dry and warm and not having to muscle my way through doors and into...
I look around. “Thane, I’m starting to think you hate me.”
The halls and staircase seem to be carved from the same kind of stone, and I might find it beautiful if it wasn’t sodamp. I pad on bare feet across a floor that I’m pretty sure is dry butfeelsvaguely wet.
Up until this point, my outrage and adrenaline were getting me through, but it’s as if reaching this hallway has the reality of this situation hitting me all at once. I’m just as damp as this hallway, my torn dress clinging to my skin and not covering the essentials. My hair is still wet and hanging down my back, my body hurts, and I’m hungry.
I search through the rooms I find, but they’re all unoccupied. More than unoccupied. They give the feeling of being abandoned entirely. Just like me. With each room that I find empty of even furniture, the panicked feeling inside me grows. “Don’t do this to me, Thane.”
By the time I find a room that actually has furniture, I can’t draw a full breath. No people. No damned people. But at least there’s a bed. I slap the covers, and only a small cloud of dust rises. “Good enough.”
I collapse onto the bed and close my eyes. “I can do this. It’s just a little isolation. I’ve done this before. I can do it again.”
I’ve lied to myself plenty of times over the years. Nature of the beast. The lies have never filled me with such hopelessness as these ones do.
It’s entirely possible that Ican’tdo this.
9
THANE
It takes everything I have not to go to Catalina. Not because I seek her presence, of course. More that I want to ensure she’s settling in well. There may also be a generous helping of guilt caused by Embry’s words rattling about in my head.
It’s almost a relief when I surface inside the keep a week later to find Ramanu waiting for me. They stand with their arms crossed and a frown pulling their lips down. “Explain why your human is behind a ward I can’t cross.”
A mistake. Not that I am eager to key my wards so a bargainer demon can get in, but Ramanu’s check-ins are part of the ongoing contract with Azazel.
I heft myself out of the water and stare them down. “I’ll rectify it by morning.”
“You’ll rectify it now,” they snap. “If I leave here without checking on her, you’re in violation of the contract.”
Damn the contract, damn this demon, and damn the woman I can’t stop thinking about.
I’ve successfully avoided going home for a week, but I can’t key the wards without being there in person. “Come along.”
“I’m not swimming, Thane.” Ramanu sneers delicately. “It’s beneath my dignity. I’ll meet you at the entrance.”