My cousin has just walked in on me packing blankets and a few undergarments and stormed right out. I run after her through the corridors, trailing mud. I’m still in my muddy, wet gown and bottines, exhausted from walking to the woods and back, from the fear and worry and panic of what I’m about to do.
“Lily! Lily, wait!” I finally catch up with her as she reaches her room and I don’t even hesitate to follow her inside, mud or not. I throw myself into a chair and try to catch my breath. “Why didn’t you wait?”
“Why are you packing stuff? And why are you always putting on a cloak and leaving the palace, staying away for long hours? Where do you go?”
“Lily…” I sigh. “I need your help. It’s urgent. I need to find a healer. A person of trust.”
“No, no.” She shakes her head, pats her carefully coiled hair. “I’m not enabling any more disaster. Taking you to the haunted woods once was already too bad. We’ll be sensible from now on, do you hear me? Stay put, marry, have families. That’s what we’ll do.”
“You’re not listening to me. Lily, will you help me?”
Her eyes flash. “Help you do what, cousin? Destroy your life?”
I get up and catch her hands. “I wouldn’t be asking you for help if it wasn’t urgent, if it wasn’t important. Please. We have to hurry. He’s not well.”
“Who isn’t? This man you go visit whenever you’re not here? Do you think people won’t notice? That I wouldn’t notice?”
“I wasn’t thinking clearly,” I whisper. “Of course you’d notice, but I… I couldn’t help myself. Still can’t. I can’t stay away from him. It feels as if a part of me is missing.”
“Oh no. No, Selina, what did you do?” She shuts her eyes, takes a deep breath. “You’ve tied your life to a stranger who is sick? Who is he? Some down-on-his-luck lord or prince? He’d better be a King lost in the woods for the risk you’re taking.”
“In a sense, he is,” I whisper.
She pulls her hands free to cup my face, her eyes wide. “Who is he? Is it a human man or something else?”
“You’re better off not knowing,” I whisper.
“You let a Fae put his hooks into you, bespell you?”
“He hasn’t. It wasn’t like that. I didn’t really like him at first. But he saved my life when I fell in the lake. He’s kind.”
She releases my face. “They all seem kind at first. It’s their strategy to ensnare us humans.”
“He’s not like that. And he didn’t ask for anything. But I can’t let him die.”
“Why not?”
“Because then I’ll die with him,” I cry, “don’t you see?”
“You’re in love.” She chews on her lower lip. “Oh Gods… Why didn’t I stop you sooner?”
Quietly I say, “You couldn’t have. Now will you help me?”
“But being in love isn’t any better than being under a spell!”
“No, it’s a thousand times worse. It’s an unbreakable spell. One I don’t want to be free of.” I catch her hands in mine. “He’s wonderful, Lily! He’s the kindest man, and the most handsome. He’s protective and he wants to be with me but won’t offer because of the curse—”
“A curse? On top of everything else, he’s under a curse? Are you listening to yourself?”
“He gave me this token and Iason saw it. He was so angry.”
“Of course he was! Iason proposed to you and you were wearing another man’s token?” She pulls away. “Are you still wearing it?”
“Iason took it from me. Instead…” I lift my hand and the swan charm dangles from my wrist. “Instead, I’m wearing a token meant for another woman given to me by Iason. Is this what you imagine my life and my happiness to look like?”
She lowers her eyes. “This man… this Fae in the woods… how do you know he won’t treat you like this once he feels better? That he’s not using you to break his curse?”
“Because he has sent me away time and again and I returned. Because every time I needed him, he was there. Because I can’t break his curse, can’t give him anything. Because I may not have known him long, cousin, but I’ve seen right through the heart of him and he’s all I ever wanted, fishtail or not, wound or not.”