She’s mine. She’s always been mine, I just hadn’t met her yet. From the moment I saw her, I knew she’d been mine all along.
But then she pulls back and it all comes crashing down on me.
“Fucking hells.” I release her, so fucking dizzy and lost in her it’s hard to pull back out of the deep. “What in the fucking hells. What’s this? Every time you have a fight with your prince you think you can come and kiss me to feel better?”
“Adar…”
“I can’t fucking do this. No more. I thought… Fuck, I thought I could but…”
“Don’t go. Please, wait.”
“I can’t, fucking can’t…” I try to drag myself away but I can’t even find the strength for that. The wound seems to get worse suddenly, agony ripping through my body. “Go and talk it through with him. Or better yet, leave that bastard.”
“That’s not why I kissed you.”
“Isn’t it?” I can’t collapse now. She has to go. She can’t see me like this.
“No, I kissed you because I wanted to. It’s you I want.”
“You should leave, princess. go back to the palace. If you don’t like this prince, find another. Plenty to choose from, I’m sure. I’m not a good catch.”
“I don’t care. You’re not listening to me. It’s you I want. You said I should decide who I want. And it’s you.”
My body seems to react to her words with pain. This is killing me. I must be dying. “You can’t. I’m cursed. Trapped. I have no kingdom anymore. And I’m Fae. everything you hate.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“I have nothing to offer you. Just… go.”
“You’re all I want…”
My chest hurts. Maybe my fucking heart is about to give out. “You don’t mean it.”
“Listen to me. I don’t love him. I told him I needed to think. Which is a refusal and he knows it. He put the ring on my finger anyway. But I don’t want him. I told you. It’s you I want.”
The pain ripping through me is making it hard to think. Makes me feel faint. I look down at myself and I feel my flesh rip. “Selina…”
“What’s the matter?” she whispers. “What is it?”
I want to laugh because everything is the matter and everything is perfect. “You mean it. You want me.”
“You crazy Fae… of course I do. There’s no one else in the world I would like to be with. And… oh Gods… you’re bleeding. This wound looks worse than ever.”
“It’s not that bad,” I lie. “I’m fine.”
“Stop… saying that. You’re pale and shaking and it looks… Gods, it looks so bad.” She puts a hand over her mouth.
“Thanks,” I mutter. “Just the boost a male ego needs.”
“You don’t need a boost. You can’t…” Her voice breaks. “You can’t die. I’ve just found you.”
“I’m not dying.” Another lie, I suppose. I may be. The pain comes in pulses, in waves that threaten to strip my consciousness away. “You should go. Go back before they notice you’re gone.”
Before I pass out. Before she realizes how bad this is and regrets her feelings, takes back her words.
ThatI won’t survive.
I want her gone before she changes her mind. I’d rather go with the knowledge she’s wanted me, cared for me.