I open my mouth to say something, not sure what—if Iason takes his tokens back there will be talk and gossip, my honor will be tarnished, but that’s not what bothers me right now, not when my mind keeps returning to another man, when I keep feeling like I’m cheating on Iason when he’s the one who gives away his tokens like candies and visits brothels for fun—
“Oh no, father,” prince Iason says. “I want to propose.”
My thoughts screech to a halt.
“… what?” I stare at him, my mouth open, no more words forthcoming.No, it’s too soon, I need more time to think, I need…
“Excellent,” my mother is saying. “I’m very pleased to hear that, prince Iason. I shall inform my husband of your intentions. When will you be proposing?”
“Give me a week,” Iason says, not looking at me. Why isn’t he looking at me? “In a week I will be back with the engagement ring.”
“A week is good,” my mother says. “We will be ready.”
Will we?
Will I be ready?
My heart is pounding, a dull ache in my chest. Is this what I want? Who I want? I’d told Adar that I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend my life with the prince who gave me the token and I hadn’t been lying. I should have returned his token. Now, what do I do?
“I care about you. I wasn’t playing.”
What do Ido?
“Meanwhile,” Iason says, “can I have some time with my future betrothed?”
Is he blind to the turmoil inside me? I’m an open book, but does he know how to read?
“Fine,” my mother relents. “A walk in the gardens, nothing more. And I will be watching from the window.”
“Of course,” Iason says and gets up, coming over to offer me his hand, his eyes unreadable as ever. “Shall we?”
“I wasn’t aware that you made up your mind,” I say as we walk side by side in the winter gardens of the palace, among tall trees and shrubbery. The maze lies ahead, a spiral made of roses.
“About?”
“About me. About choosing me over the other princess.”
“Oh.” He clasps his hands behind his back and turns a distracted smile on me. “Have I told you that you look ravishing today?”
“Yes. Thank you.” I pause to bob a small curtsy. This is a little awkward. I don’t know how I am supposed to act with a prince who has promised to propose to me in a week, a prince I barely know.
And he hasn’t answered my question. “Have you made up your mind, Prince Iason?”
“Of course.” His smile is still distracted, his gaze distant. “I’m here, aren’t I? Don’t you trust me?”
Well, he’s here, true, and he promised to be back in a week with an engagement ring. He promised in front of his father and my mother. In front of me.
“Yes,” I whisper, forcing myself to speak the words. “I trust you.”
“Good. I have another present.” He stops and I turn to face him. “Here.” He pulls out another small box from a pocket. “For you.”
Swallowing a sigh, I open the little box and take out a bracelet. It’s fine, made from silver or platinum, and has a bird in flight hanging from it.
“It’s beautiful,” I say because it’s the truth. “Thank you.”
“It’s nothing. Last time you told me you like swans. That they are important to you. So I had it made for you.”
“Me? I don’t think….” I bite on my tongue. I don’t particularly like swans and I don’t recall saying any such thing. But it doesn’t matter. “I don’t recall.”